Finally gone through CA 1 and also my final Community Study Intervention presentation!
= )
Now, still have 1 more exam to go: Biostat & community medicine exam..! Lots and lots to study in just 3 days! (Exam this thursday..)
Well, wish my luck. I think i need a lot of it this time.
; p
Monday, December 18
Sunday, December 10
Saturated..
Ever have the feeling of having eaten too much until you've reached the point where you'll feel disgusted even by the sight of food?
That's exactly how i feel right now..! Not due to food but yes... due to the stacks of notes and medical books. My brain is saturated and anymore of this i'll go bonkers..!
It sound a bit harsh but seriously, i really might just puke right in front of that mountain of notes..! Merely the sight of that made my stomach groan.. = (
Hence, here i am running away from my notes.. Well, have to chack mails and write blog once in a while, right?
Like people always say
"Rest is for the longer journey ahead!"
That's exactly how i feel right now..! Not due to food but yes... due to the stacks of notes and medical books. My brain is saturated and anymore of this i'll go bonkers..!
It sound a bit harsh but seriously, i really might just puke right in front of that mountain of notes..! Merely the sight of that made my stomach groan.. = (
Hence, here i am running away from my notes.. Well, have to chack mails and write blog once in a while, right?
Like people always say
"Rest is for the longer journey ahead!"
Sunday, November 19
Thoughts & Headaches
Been thinking about the title of my last post... Life is indeed contradicting. While doctors are said to be with no social life, their job revolves around their patients most of the time! So i guess patients and their families ARE doctors' social circle in COMPENSATION to the loss of their normal social circles.
Patients + Patients Families in exchange for Friends + Own families.
Wow! Doctors really have to sacrifice A LOT!
Then again, i can't help but to feel that even at the current moment, i began to loss touch with human interaction (well, most probably because of my quiet nature) ; sometimes i feel it's harder and harder to understand how a person thinks & acts (is it because i've seen deceits, selfishness, misunderstandings and backstabs that i am losing my faith in human, in myself perhaps?) ; how is that going to help me in dealing with patients in the future? Will i become a robot doctor? A doctor that will only be determine to discover the underlying disease my patients have? Will i just go to my patient, ask relevant history, perform physical examination, identify disease, give treatment, full stop; without any empathy towards how the patient feels? Is that a healthy human interaction?
But which is better? A more competent yet apathy doctor or A not-so-good-with-skills doctor that is able to soothe your pain? Can i get the best of both worlds, be a very competent and empathic doctor?
I feel that my personality itself does permit me to gain the best of both worlds; seriously i feel i am totally bad at soft skills and it has to be the hardest skill to acquire and learn, you can't possibly learn it through lectures or course or books!
Anyhow, I am trying to change myself in order to walk that very path to reach that very destination.. just that sometimes i need more than average motivation to keep me going..!
Well i guess the path of a medical practitioner is tougher than tough but in the end, when you know you can make a difference in other people's lives; to be able to put an end to others miseries, however small it is; these are good enough reasons to lighten up the spirit a bit!
Lastly, a phrase worthy of the posting's theme that every medical practitioner have heard a zillion times,
"You must treat patient as a whole not just treat the disease itself..!"
Anyway, been having headaches for a few days now... Don't know why all these thoughts spurt out of my mind when i am having a bad headache..!?! Weird.
Patients + Patients Families in exchange for Friends + Own families.
Wow! Doctors really have to sacrifice A LOT!
Then again, i can't help but to feel that even at the current moment, i began to loss touch with human interaction (well, most probably because of my quiet nature) ; sometimes i feel it's harder and harder to understand how a person thinks & acts (is it because i've seen deceits, selfishness, misunderstandings and backstabs that i am losing my faith in human, in myself perhaps?) ; how is that going to help me in dealing with patients in the future? Will i become a robot doctor? A doctor that will only be determine to discover the underlying disease my patients have? Will i just go to my patient, ask relevant history, perform physical examination, identify disease, give treatment, full stop; without any empathy towards how the patient feels? Is that a healthy human interaction?
But which is better? A more competent yet apathy doctor or A not-so-good-with-skills doctor that is able to soothe your pain? Can i get the best of both worlds, be a very competent and empathic doctor?
I feel that my personality itself does permit me to gain the best of both worlds; seriously i feel i am totally bad at soft skills and it has to be the hardest skill to acquire and learn, you can't possibly learn it through lectures or course or books!
Anyhow, I am trying to change myself in order to walk that very path to reach that very destination.. just that sometimes i need more than average motivation to keep me going..!
Well i guess the path of a medical practitioner is tougher than tough but in the end, when you know you can make a difference in other people's lives; to be able to put an end to others miseries, however small it is; these are good enough reasons to lighten up the spirit a bit!
Lastly, a phrase worthy of the posting's theme that every medical practitioner have heard a zillion times,
"You must treat patient as a whole not just treat the disease itself..!"
Anyway, been having headaches for a few days now... Don't know why all these thoughts spurt out of my mind when i am having a bad headache..!?! Weird.
Thursday, November 16
Doctor = No Social Life?
Had a nice chat with 2 of my friend yesterday night (or rather today early morning!?!) from 2pm to 3.30pm... We realized that compared to previous years in university, the interpersonal interactions among us had greatly reduced...
We attribute it to the increasing amount of workload, have to study back 1st year's basic sciences: physiology, biochemistry, and (Grey's? : p) anatomy in addition to current clinical sciences, pathology (not pak-toh-logy) and other -logies i.e. haematology, endocrinology, parasitology, and the list goes on; added to these, we have to clerk case, try to perfect our clinical skills while trying to squeeze a huge amount of knowledge into 1 tiny brain... TOUGH.
So naturally, less and less time for chats, less and less people go for club activities and less and less interactions... It's mostly about studies, homeworks and patients... I guess it's true to say that a doctor is bound to it's life long profession and does not have (or rather couldn't have) a brisk social life.
It's really very hard to juggle between study load and social life. More time spent in social meaning less time to study meaning less knowledge gained yet knowledge is very important for doctors as they are dealing with precious lives that's entrusted to them.
Wonder how will my future life will be like???
We attribute it to the increasing amount of workload, have to study back 1st year's basic sciences: physiology, biochemistry, and (Grey's? : p) anatomy in addition to current clinical sciences, pathology (not pak-toh-logy) and other -logies i.e. haematology, endocrinology, parasitology, and the list goes on; added to these, we have to clerk case, try to perfect our clinical skills while trying to squeeze a huge amount of knowledge into 1 tiny brain... TOUGH.
So naturally, less and less time for chats, less and less people go for club activities and less and less interactions... It's mostly about studies, homeworks and patients... I guess it's true to say that a doctor is bound to it's life long profession and does not have (or rather couldn't have) a brisk social life.
It's really very hard to juggle between study load and social life. More time spent in social meaning less time to study meaning less knowledge gained yet knowledge is very important for doctors as they are dealing with precious lives that's entrusted to them.
Wonder how will my future life will be like???
Sunday, November 5
My niece's Full Moon
I have the cutest niece in this whole wide world..! = )
My niece, named Yu En, had her Full Moon celebration marking her 1st month into this world.
I finally got to see her and her face is just the cutest thing in this world! Round face, large eyes, single eye-lid (but my brother claimed it's doubled?), very nicely-shaped lips. I'll post her pic when it's available..
She will grow up to be such a fine lady with lots and lots of people showering their love on her.. evident by the amount of presents received; enough to bury 1 adult beneath the whole pile! And of course my dear brother puts ALL his attention on hes dearest daughter: he feeds her, bathes her, sings to her until she falls asleep and he's the 1st face she'll see everytime she wakes up..! She's totally immersed in the power of parent's love!
By the way, i had a lot of goodies to eat too! Happy.
; p
My niece, named Yu En, had her Full Moon celebration marking her 1st month into this world.
I finally got to see her and her face is just the cutest thing in this world! Round face, large eyes, single eye-lid (but my brother claimed it's doubled?), very nicely-shaped lips. I'll post her pic when it's available..
She will grow up to be such a fine lady with lots and lots of people showering their love on her.. evident by the amount of presents received; enough to bury 1 adult beneath the whole pile! And of course my dear brother puts ALL his attention on hes dearest daughter: he feeds her, bathes her, sings to her until she falls asleep and he's the 1st face she'll see everytime she wakes up..! She's totally immersed in the power of parent's love!
By the way, i had a lot of goodies to eat too! Happy.
; p
Thursday, November 2
Back in Kampung
Yesterday, my group went to our community study area to visit our adopted families' homes for Raya celebration...
Started our journey around 2.30pm... it was raining. One of my coursemate, LL was complaining, 'Oh dear, what's gonna happen to my car? All the muddy roads... *sigh*'.. Well, we haven't realized by then what's gonna happen to our STOMACH after a few hours..!
We went house by house...
1st house: 'Mari makan!' 'Baik!'
We ate kuih raya and drank air kelapa wangi blend (a famous product of this family, Shiok!)
2nd huse: 'Mari makan!' 'Ya..'
Again we ate kuih raya, drink orange juice and while we sembang, we didn't realize the ultimate danger... the host cooked an enormous portion of friend mee!!! Of course, we can't refuse so each of us ate our little share leaving quite a lot untouched...
By the time we are leaving, we realized it's already 4.30pm!!! 2 hours past! Bearing in mind, we decided to act fast, eat fast, drink fast, talk less.
3rd house: 'Mari Makan!' 'Ok...'
Yup, again we ate kuih raya... by then, we politely refused drinks before the host even begun to prepare.. the witty LL (who stayed there previously) went into the kitchen to check on her mek (mother). Suddenly she came out, asked us 'siapa nak minum? Semua tak mau kan?' (we didn't even have to answer..) in a split second, she rushed back to the kitchen and mission complete, no drinks!
Yet, her mek still came out with 2 plates of mango cuts...
4th house: 'Mari makan!' '....'
By then, i already became a muruku specialist comparing murukus from different houses.
'This muruku taste better hor?'
' Ya lor, just like the one in market... you know, the white colour packet with the baby picture!'
'Ya lor, ya lor'
So, we just ate the muruku, ignored other kuihs and drank tea.
5th house: 'Mari makan!' 'takpe...'
Went in, greet, every kuih try one, drink, greet, out of house.
6th house: 'Mari makan!' 'takpe.. betul-betul takpe..'
In the end, we ate a lot of keropok lekor and each of us had a bowl of ais kacang! (the host opens a warung...)
Finally, we head back with a supreme ultimately full-of-kuih raya-and-water stomach..!
Went back to university, skipped dinner. = )
Started our journey around 2.30pm... it was raining. One of my coursemate, LL was complaining, 'Oh dear, what's gonna happen to my car? All the muddy roads... *sigh*'.. Well, we haven't realized by then what's gonna happen to our STOMACH after a few hours..!
We went house by house...
1st house: 'Mari makan!' 'Baik!'
We ate kuih raya and drank air kelapa wangi blend (a famous product of this family, Shiok!)
2nd huse: 'Mari makan!' 'Ya..'
Again we ate kuih raya, drink orange juice and while we sembang, we didn't realize the ultimate danger... the host cooked an enormous portion of friend mee!!! Of course, we can't refuse so each of us ate our little share leaving quite a lot untouched...
By the time we are leaving, we realized it's already 4.30pm!!! 2 hours past! Bearing in mind, we decided to act fast, eat fast, drink fast, talk less.
3rd house: 'Mari Makan!' 'Ok...'
Yup, again we ate kuih raya... by then, we politely refused drinks before the host even begun to prepare.. the witty LL (who stayed there previously) went into the kitchen to check on her mek (mother). Suddenly she came out, asked us 'siapa nak minum? Semua tak mau kan?' (we didn't even have to answer..) in a split second, she rushed back to the kitchen and mission complete, no drinks!
Yet, her mek still came out with 2 plates of mango cuts...
4th house: 'Mari makan!' '....'
By then, i already became a muruku specialist comparing murukus from different houses.
'This muruku taste better hor?'
' Ya lor, just like the one in market... you know, the white colour packet with the baby picture!'
'Ya lor, ya lor'
So, we just ate the muruku, ignored other kuihs and drank tea.
5th house: 'Mari makan!' 'takpe...'
Went in, greet, every kuih try one, drink, greet, out of house.
6th house: 'Mari makan!' 'takpe.. betul-betul takpe..'
In the end, we ate a lot of keropok lekor and each of us had a bowl of ais kacang! (the host opens a warung...)
Finally, we head back with a supreme ultimately full-of-kuih raya-and-water stomach..!
Went back to university, skipped dinner. = )
Monday, October 30
Raya Puasa Holiday...
Well, finally had a whole week holiday and can spend some time back in my hometown...
Did quite a lot of things too.. Got to meet with some hometown friends, went out for a lunch at a new restaurant in town, 'Wong Kok Hong Kong Restaurant' & a saw a movie, 'Stormbreaker' together...
Movie: RM11
Lunch: RM20++
Time spent with friends: priceless..!
; p
Did quite a lot of things too.. Got to meet with some hometown friends, went out for a lunch at a new restaurant in town, 'Wong Kok Hong Kong Restaurant' & a saw a movie, 'Stormbreaker' together...
Movie: RM11
Lunch: RM20++
Time spent with friends: priceless..!
; p
Tuesday, October 17
I'm an uncle!! and Bro's Wedding (2 posts back 2 back)
Well, it's about time for some gay posts after a period of gloomy days! As they say, sunshine & rainbow comes after the storm..!
I'm an uncle!!!
Starting from 8th of October, i am officially an uncle to my eldest brother's 1st baby girl! Wow, finally a status upgrade...
Didn't get to see her face in person though, only got to see her cute pictures from my brother's handphone..
= (
Don't know what should i do as an uncle though??
Bro's wedding!
2 happy occasions in a month! My 2nd brother's wedding banquet was held on the 14th October at my hometown, JB. The ambience was nice, the food was nice, and the special thing is... there was a live band performance throughout the dinner!!!
The band consist of 2 gentlemen and 2 ladies and i must say they are very talented indeed! Their performance was really up to standard!
I'm an uncle!!!
Starting from 8th of October, i am officially an uncle to my eldest brother's 1st baby girl! Wow, finally a status upgrade...
Didn't get to see her face in person though, only got to see her cute pictures from my brother's handphone..
= (
Don't know what should i do as an uncle though??
Bro's wedding!
2 happy occasions in a month! My 2nd brother's wedding banquet was held on the 14th October at my hometown, JB. The ambience was nice, the food was nice, and the special thing is... there was a live band performance throughout the dinner!!!
The band consist of 2 gentlemen and 2 ladies and i must say they are very talented indeed! Their performance was really up to standard!
Monday, October 9
Always on my mind 2
I really don't know what is happening inside my mind but here's a little peek inside my mind...
Frustrating thought 2: I don't know how to express myself clearly...
Well, a really have to admit i don't have a talent of expressing myself very well especially in front of public. My adrenaline level will shot sky high and i will always become too exited & nervous until i lose my composure; in the end i will forgot the flow of speech and couldn't get the message across, clearly.
Maybe my brain's a bit slow, that's why... I feel like most of the time, my brain is blank..! Thinking about absolutely nothing. Maybe that's why everytime it's only until after i had a certain conversation with someone that i thought of a lot of better words to say that will be able to convey my message a lot more clearly. Does this only happen to me or does this happen to anybody else? i really wonder...
This also attributes to me being a listener more than a talker. Well, i think when in a crowd i am listening 99% of the time and only talking 1% of the time but i enjoyed listening to other people's stories... other people's problems... though maybe when i am listening i don't really give a very good response and my eyes will tend to sway to look at what's happening at the surrounding.. So others will tend to feel like i am way too quiet. And yes, sometimes, i will just do something unexpected and the result...
yup, you guessed it, kena kutuk again, 'sometimes i feel you just trying very hard so that others are impressed with you... so fake...'
(*stab*) What! So meaning i can't really do anything that brings others attention to me once in a while when i am not even thinking of this sort of things and you can do just anything as if you are NOT trying to impress others because you are always doing this sort of things and it's normal for you yet not for anyone else??? Duh?
It really hurts when i heard these words.. to think i can be labeled as 'doing things with intention and purpose' when i am not, AT ALL! Couldn't anyone do something just for the sake of it's intrinsic values... without ulterior purpose and nothing else??
That brings me to my other problems:
Problem 1: i actually don't like to probe into other people's business, if you want to talk, of course i can always lend my ears but because of this, other's will think i do not care so i do not ask so they just deliberately don't talk to me...
I know of this so when i try to improve by asking more questions (out of concern) i was told by others that they don't like me probing too much into their business..!?!
What the ****? So now i seriously don't know just how am i supposed to interact with others... when i talk i am afraid other people will perceived me as nosy and i actually don't know what to say... when i don't talk, people will say i am too quiet or feel that i am hard to approach & grouchy... (sigh)
Problem 2: don't give expected response perceived as 'i am not listening and i don't care what you are saying' attitude...
Well, i know it is quite inappropriate that i didn't keep full attention to the conversation at hand and tend to scan around with my eyes but i sincerely state here that i DO listen... it's just that i like to look around when i am listening... different sensation modalities different nerve tracts, it won't affect one another, that's called multi-tasking! But what made things worse is that as i had mention earlier, my brain is slow and tend to blank itself out... so when i am asked a question, 'hey are you actually listening what i am saying, can you repeat what i said?' A lot of times i just can't really give the answer that others expected... So i always kena with 'You always don't listen one, when i talking you see here see there... didn't give any response also... Don't want to talk to you anymore...'
(faint)
Do i seriously have a serious interpersonal skill problems or what? After all the repeated kutuk and kutuk and kutuk, i feel like i am losing my senses and i really don't know how to be a human anymore... I seriously don't know how i should treat others, my heart is already shut... i can't really face others without the fear what other poeple might comment about every move i made... i just don't want to make any moves now...
Can someone just give me some tips just how am i suppose to handle all different sort of poeple out there in the world? Do i really need to change? How do i change? Must i be a really good actor that can change my personality when needed? Must i wear a mask everytime i interact with other poeple?
I don't really know, maybe all this thoughts will go away, maybe just like KP said, it's just a mood swing... (i am also a temperamental Cancerian bound to the waning and waxing of the moon) or maybe this is just an excuse created by myself to help me feel better...
Frustrating thought 2: I don't know how to express myself clearly...
Well, a really have to admit i don't have a talent of expressing myself very well especially in front of public. My adrenaline level will shot sky high and i will always become too exited & nervous until i lose my composure; in the end i will forgot the flow of speech and couldn't get the message across, clearly.
Maybe my brain's a bit slow, that's why... I feel like most of the time, my brain is blank..! Thinking about absolutely nothing. Maybe that's why everytime it's only until after i had a certain conversation with someone that i thought of a lot of better words to say that will be able to convey my message a lot more clearly. Does this only happen to me or does this happen to anybody else? i really wonder...
This also attributes to me being a listener more than a talker. Well, i think when in a crowd i am listening 99% of the time and only talking 1% of the time but i enjoyed listening to other people's stories... other people's problems... though maybe when i am listening i don't really give a very good response and my eyes will tend to sway to look at what's happening at the surrounding.. So others will tend to feel like i am way too quiet. And yes, sometimes, i will just do something unexpected and the result...
yup, you guessed it, kena kutuk again, 'sometimes i feel you just trying very hard so that others are impressed with you... so fake...'
(*stab*) What! So meaning i can't really do anything that brings others attention to me once in a while when i am not even thinking of this sort of things and you can do just anything as if you are NOT trying to impress others because you are always doing this sort of things and it's normal for you yet not for anyone else??? Duh?
It really hurts when i heard these words.. to think i can be labeled as 'doing things with intention and purpose' when i am not, AT ALL! Couldn't anyone do something just for the sake of it's intrinsic values... without ulterior purpose and nothing else??
That brings me to my other problems:
Problem 1: i actually don't like to probe into other people's business, if you want to talk, of course i can always lend my ears but because of this, other's will think i do not care so i do not ask so they just deliberately don't talk to me...
I know of this so when i try to improve by asking more questions (out of concern) i was told by others that they don't like me probing too much into their business..!?!
What the ****? So now i seriously don't know just how am i supposed to interact with others... when i talk i am afraid other people will perceived me as nosy and i actually don't know what to say... when i don't talk, people will say i am too quiet or feel that i am hard to approach & grouchy... (sigh)
Problem 2: don't give expected response perceived as 'i am not listening and i don't care what you are saying' attitude...
Well, i know it is quite inappropriate that i didn't keep full attention to the conversation at hand and tend to scan around with my eyes but i sincerely state here that i DO listen... it's just that i like to look around when i am listening... different sensation modalities different nerve tracts, it won't affect one another, that's called multi-tasking! But what made things worse is that as i had mention earlier, my brain is slow and tend to blank itself out... so when i am asked a question, 'hey are you actually listening what i am saying, can you repeat what i said?' A lot of times i just can't really give the answer that others expected... So i always kena with 'You always don't listen one, when i talking you see here see there... didn't give any response also... Don't want to talk to you anymore...'
(faint)
Do i seriously have a serious interpersonal skill problems or what? After all the repeated kutuk and kutuk and kutuk, i feel like i am losing my senses and i really don't know how to be a human anymore... I seriously don't know how i should treat others, my heart is already shut... i can't really face others without the fear what other poeple might comment about every move i made... i just don't want to make any moves now...
Can someone just give me some tips just how am i suppose to handle all different sort of poeple out there in the world? Do i really need to change? How do i change? Must i be a really good actor that can change my personality when needed? Must i wear a mask everytime i interact with other poeple?
I don't really know, maybe all this thoughts will go away, maybe just like KP said, it's just a mood swing... (i am also a temperamental Cancerian bound to the waning and waxing of the moon) or maybe this is just an excuse created by myself to help me feel better...
Tuesday, October 3
Questions...
What will you do when you realize you are nothing but a bringer of troubles and sorrow to those around you?
Will you leave your loved ones so that they don't get sad?
Will you leave your loved ones so that they'll stay happy?
Will they understand the reason of you leaving?
Will they even try to persuade, to find out the exact truth why you do the things you do?
Do you silently wanted them to?
What will you do everytime you have a problem at hand that keeps bugging you?
Share your sorrow with your friends?
Even if you know they won't be able to help?
What if every time you are troubled it shows on your face?
Do you have the heart to pass your sorrows around?
Or will you just keep quiet, leave and slowly let yourself drown in the sorrow alone?
Yet at the same time, do you silently pray that someone will ask about your problems & care for you?
What is the purpose of sharing your sadness?
So that others too can feel your sadness?
So that you'll feel better as your share of sadness will be distributed among others?
So that others will try to make you happy?
Will you leave your loved ones so that they don't get sad?
Will you leave your loved ones so that they'll stay happy?
Will they understand the reason of you leaving?
Will they even try to persuade, to find out the exact truth why you do the things you do?
Do you silently wanted them to?
What will you do everytime you have a problem at hand that keeps bugging you?
Share your sorrow with your friends?
Even if you know they won't be able to help?
What if every time you are troubled it shows on your face?
Do you have the heart to pass your sorrows around?
Or will you just keep quiet, leave and slowly let yourself drown in the sorrow alone?
Yet at the same time, do you silently pray that someone will ask about your problems & care for you?
What is the purpose of sharing your sadness?
So that others too can feel your sadness?
So that you'll feel better as your share of sadness will be distributed among others?
So that others will try to make you happy?
Sunday, October 1
Always on my mind...
I know i should think too much and seriuosly i don't wish to have blogged this... it's somehow inappropriate for this blog's theme...
but something are just always on my mind...
At times i get so frustrated i don't even know what i am frustrating about..!
How should i live my life? How should i treat others? what should i do to make people around me feel happy? which path should i take? where should i be going? what should i be doing? Why am i thinking all of this...?
One of the most frustrating thought:
Most of the time, people say i am neutral... too neutral just like pH 7.000000000
But is it wrong to be the way i am? Again when i try to change, when i try NOT to be neutral, people will say, "Eh.. how come suddenly u become so acidic one?" So just what do you guys what?!!!?
Maybe my neutrality leads to my indecisiveness or the other round, i don't know but again, is it my fault? One classic example: When others ask me where & what you want to eat? As everyone would have guessed, i will definitely say, "You decide lar..." Well, i really feel this way, for me anything will do... others who have a preference can make the decision what.. isn't it better since it's you who have the preference and you will get to eat what u want! But no... the exact same type of people would say, "Why everytime i have to decide one? You don't have any ideas meh? So usually after this statement, of course i will give some suggestions:
me: McD?
friend: don't want...
me: fish & chip?
friend: what? again?
me: then food court lo, convinient what...
friend: don't want lar...
me: how about...
friend: (interrupt) why don't we go eat Japanese food?
me: ... ...
Duh! Why don't you tell earlier and all's well, no need to dilly dally... Of course this is only one of the minor example... perhaps it's really my fault that i can't easily please others?
And i seriously don't like to take sides... so when people are arguing (not real argue, both parties are my friends and most of the time they like to argue just for the sake of argue...), i of course stay neutral lar... what for taking sides? Again kena kutuk by them,
"why you never help me one..." (with the very serious face...)
"okay... next time lor...
Then next time, i decided to take sides, of course when you take sides you can only take 1 side, right? Again, kena kutuk... = (
"Why just now you help him not me? You hor.. everytime stay neutral... when help also don't want to help me... you don't treat me as friend har... fine lor?" (again with very serious face expression) So what am i to do??? Neutral also wrong, acidic also wrong, even alkaline also wrong!
= (
I guess this problem will be always n my mind... How can i truly be happy?
but something are just always on my mind...
At times i get so frustrated i don't even know what i am frustrating about..!
How should i live my life? How should i treat others? what should i do to make people around me feel happy? which path should i take? where should i be going? what should i be doing? Why am i thinking all of this...?
One of the most frustrating thought:
Most of the time, people say i am neutral... too neutral just like pH 7.000000000
But is it wrong to be the way i am? Again when i try to change, when i try NOT to be neutral, people will say, "Eh.. how come suddenly u become so acidic one?" So just what do you guys what?!!!?
Maybe my neutrality leads to my indecisiveness or the other round, i don't know but again, is it my fault? One classic example: When others ask me where & what you want to eat? As everyone would have guessed, i will definitely say, "You decide lar..." Well, i really feel this way, for me anything will do... others who have a preference can make the decision what.. isn't it better since it's you who have the preference and you will get to eat what u want! But no... the exact same type of people would say, "Why everytime i have to decide one? You don't have any ideas meh? So usually after this statement, of course i will give some suggestions:
me: McD?
friend: don't want...
me: fish & chip?
friend: what? again?
me: then food court lo, convinient what...
friend: don't want lar...
me: how about...
friend: (interrupt) why don't we go eat Japanese food?
me: ... ...
Duh! Why don't you tell earlier and all's well, no need to dilly dally... Of course this is only one of the minor example... perhaps it's really my fault that i can't easily please others?
And i seriously don't like to take sides... so when people are arguing (not real argue, both parties are my friends and most of the time they like to argue just for the sake of argue...), i of course stay neutral lar... what for taking sides? Again kena kutuk by them,
"why you never help me one..." (with the very serious face...)
"okay... next time lor...
Then next time, i decided to take sides, of course when you take sides you can only take 1 side, right? Again, kena kutuk... = (
"Why just now you help him not me? You hor.. everytime stay neutral... when help also don't want to help me... you don't treat me as friend har... fine lor?" (again with very serious face expression) So what am i to do??? Neutral also wrong, acidic also wrong, even alkaline also wrong!
= (
I guess this problem will be always n my mind... How can i truly be happy?
Sunday, September 24
What Tarot Card Are You?
Found this nice short quiz. Try it out! I Am The High Priestess |
 Your fortune: Something hidden, or latent, in your life is about to come forward.You need to pay more attention to your dreams, thoughts, intuition, and imagination.And if that involves tapping into your dark side, it will all balance out in the end.You have a lot of potential dying to be unleashed, so let those gates open! |
Back from Outing Camp
Just came back from Buddhist outing Camp organized by the 2nd years. So darn tired... I feel like my minds floating in and out of consciousness as i am writing this... (oh, should be typing this, not wrting... ; p)
i couldn't believe it when i reached the camping site on day 1 as they have chosen the exact same resort that we were in last year! Furthermore it had changed quite a lot. What formerly was an old wooden elevated platform with a roof (they called it a hall) transformed into a fully air-conditioned room with glass windows, now that's a proper hall..!
I enjoyed the time very much there, able to interact with the freshies (by now not so fresh liao lar...) and also got to relax my mind.
I am really impressed by the juniors. 1st of all the exquisite booklets, personalized name tags and the camp T-shirt was really nicely done. At once can see that they put in 200% of effort into it..!
Next is the campfire, it's opening ceremony was fantastic! They made a wheel (which symbolizes the 8 Noble Truths) out of rope with a ball in the middle. When the wheel is lit on with a torch, the ball in the middle will also caught in flame and in turn roll down a wire framed tunnel to lit up the main campfire. It was so professional!
The station games on the next day was also nicely designed. Not too strenous for old people like me.. yet still challenging enough. The games tested teamwork and also planning and strateging techniques of the participants.
The food and desserts was also heart warming, the talk was inspiring and the hymns selected was so beautiful and brought back fond memories of past years' camps..
But what i lived most about the camp is ... i can sleep on the beach under the starry sky! It was the ultimate pleasure for me to be able to lay on the beach and look at the stars! The wind wasn't too strong and the sky was more and more brilliant as the night pass by... It's sooooo nice!
I really appreciate the efforts of the 2nd years for the great camp!
But for now, have to go scrub the flour off my clothes and get the sands off as well...
i couldn't believe it when i reached the camping site on day 1 as they have chosen the exact same resort that we were in last year! Furthermore it had changed quite a lot. What formerly was an old wooden elevated platform with a roof (they called it a hall) transformed into a fully air-conditioned room with glass windows, now that's a proper hall..!
I enjoyed the time very much there, able to interact with the freshies (by now not so fresh liao lar...) and also got to relax my mind.
I am really impressed by the juniors. 1st of all the exquisite booklets, personalized name tags and the camp T-shirt was really nicely done. At once can see that they put in 200% of effort into it..!
Next is the campfire, it's opening ceremony was fantastic! They made a wheel (which symbolizes the 8 Noble Truths) out of rope with a ball in the middle. When the wheel is lit on with a torch, the ball in the middle will also caught in flame and in turn roll down a wire framed tunnel to lit up the main campfire. It was so professional!
The station games on the next day was also nicely designed. Not too strenous for old people like me.. yet still challenging enough. The games tested teamwork and also planning and strateging techniques of the participants.
The food and desserts was also heart warming, the talk was inspiring and the hymns selected was so beautiful and brought back fond memories of past years' camps..
But what i lived most about the camp is ... i can sleep on the beach under the starry sky! It was the ultimate pleasure for me to be able to lay on the beach and look at the stars! The wind wasn't too strong and the sky was more and more brilliant as the night pass by... It's sooooo nice!
I really appreciate the efforts of the 2nd years for the great camp!
But for now, have to go scrub the flour off my clothes and get the sands off as well...
Sunday, September 17
Back to the Past
Did anyone tell you that when you feel stressed, unhappy or hurt, your body will react and try to go back to the condition when you are small to sooth ourselves? Just like when you are sad, you cry like a baby and get over it after the cry; and when you are troubled, you think about your home & family who's always there for you since birth, when you get emotional, you hope someone will 'manja' you just like when you are a little child...
For me, i just found a lost piece of my past that makes me happy... watching serial dramas!!! It has been such a long time since i watched drama, ever since i entered university, i practically lost touch with my best buddy, 'television'. I recalled how i used to stick to the TV screen starting from 5.30pm to about 11pm! All the while studying of course (my study table was in the living room, lucky!).
5.30pm til 6.30pm is allocated for cartoons
6.30 til 7.00pm: eat dinner & bath (because news is on)
7.00pm til 10pm: Chinese dramas
10pm onwards: english serials
I almost forgot what kind of feeling that was...
Until recently, i watched a Hong Kong serial drama (yup, 20 episodes at one go! Yippee!!!) while i study during the weekend and it felt so great!!! The feeling is indescribeable.. just like you have attained nirvana! (maybe i exaggerated a bit.. but only a tiny itsy bit...)
So i decided to keep this on and revert to my old custom: studying while watching dramas! He..He..
For me, i just found a lost piece of my past that makes me happy... watching serial dramas!!! It has been such a long time since i watched drama, ever since i entered university, i practically lost touch with my best buddy, 'television'. I recalled how i used to stick to the TV screen starting from 5.30pm to about 11pm! All the while studying of course (my study table was in the living room, lucky!).
5.30pm til 6.30pm is allocated for cartoons
6.30 til 7.00pm: eat dinner & bath (because news is on)
7.00pm til 10pm: Chinese dramas
10pm onwards: english serials
I almost forgot what kind of feeling that was...
Until recently, i watched a Hong Kong serial drama (yup, 20 episodes at one go! Yippee!!!) while i study during the weekend and it felt so great!!! The feeling is indescribeable.. just like you have attained nirvana! (maybe i exaggerated a bit.. but only a tiny itsy bit...)
So i decided to keep this on and revert to my old custom: studying while watching dramas! He..He..
Monday, September 11
The Meaning of Friends
What actually does the word 'friends' mean?
Does it merely mean playmates? studymates? Those with similar if not same interests? Those whom you are comfortable to be around with? Those whom you did some of the craziest things together? Those who knows you inside out? Those who always spend a lot of times with you?
'Friends' can be categorized into few categories, according to some, namely mere friends, good friends, best friends, true friends. But how are we going to differentiate from one another? Just by the total time we spent with each other? the number of words we spoke to each other? The number of meals we had together? This is how we built our connections with friends, is it not? Meaning the deeper the connection the deeper the friendship, right? The deeper it is, the higher the category of friendship. I am sure most of us agreed upon this.
But then thinking back, even if the amount of time spent together totals up to an astronomical number (meaning a lot lar) if that person is just putting up a mask with you, will you be able to make a connestion? if yes, is that connection true? Then, if someone who puts down all the masks and you realized that actually you liked that person with masks better, what then? People can finally show you their true colours meaning the connection must be as deep as ocean yet you prefer the actor??? Can an actor be a true friend?
Time spent.. Will friendship fade with time if the two friends were in the opposite points of the earth? Will the 'friendship' downgrades from true to best, from best to good, from good to mere friends?Different places = less talking = less playing = less time spent together. But still the connections must be still there right? If it really does fade, how meaningful this 'friendship' is? Is it true to say the lesser the communication the faster the 'friendship' fades? Is there a kind of 'friendship' that doesn't fade with time?
Understanding. Well, being 'friends' must have a certain understanding. If that person understands you, knows what makes you happy, knows what you really want but that will eventually bring you further apart (because you know you don't belong there, if not who won't want the best of both worlds?!?), will you let the other person go? Is it consider 'friends' if you selfishly keep your 'friend' by your side when you know your 'friend' will be happier elsewhere? Again, if you let go, will the 'friendship' stays, completely or partially? Or will it fade and just gone with the wind? Will that 'friend' knows how to cherish the friendship built over a long period of time?
Quantity & Quality. Some people like to have as many true friends (Quantity counts) as possible while some prefer keeping 1 or 2 true friends (Quality counts). Most of the popular ones belong to the 1st group and the quiet ones, the latter. Thus bringing us to a question: does the quantity really represent something important? You have to sacrifice the quality for the quantity, true? If you diversify surely the qualities of individual friendship doesn't really make up to the quality of a friend whom you focus on. It doesn't really bring us much problem if the two friends are from the same category.
What if, for instance, A is from Quantity group and Z is from Quality group. Z knows A will only be happy if A has a lot of so called true friends, so Z can't spend much time with A. Therefore in the context of Z, Z will feel that the friendship is somehow weakened, right? Yet maybe for A, A will feel Z had gotten much more and yearn to break off and find other 'friends'... If superimposed on the condition where A knows what Z wants Y to be his next true friend yet A and Y can't meet eye to eye... Of course as a friend, A will definitely let Z go... As A let go, A must have already thought that the 'friendship' will begin to fade just didn't know will fade to which degree? Z on the other hand couldn't understand why A is doing this as in Z's context, Z want to maintain as many true friends as possible (meaning Z doesn't want any of the 'friendships' to drop even slightly). What will happen to them?
It's very complicated when we reflect upon this isn't it? It all boils down to attachments actually is it not? The deeper the connection, the greater the attachment, the harder to let go. Nothing is permanent right?
Does it merely mean playmates? studymates? Those with similar if not same interests? Those whom you are comfortable to be around with? Those whom you did some of the craziest things together? Those who knows you inside out? Those who always spend a lot of times with you?
'Friends' can be categorized into few categories, according to some, namely mere friends, good friends, best friends, true friends. But how are we going to differentiate from one another? Just by the total time we spent with each other? the number of words we spoke to each other? The number of meals we had together? This is how we built our connections with friends, is it not? Meaning the deeper the connection the deeper the friendship, right? The deeper it is, the higher the category of friendship. I am sure most of us agreed upon this.
But then thinking back, even if the amount of time spent together totals up to an astronomical number (meaning a lot lar) if that person is just putting up a mask with you, will you be able to make a connestion? if yes, is that connection true? Then, if someone who puts down all the masks and you realized that actually you liked that person with masks better, what then? People can finally show you their true colours meaning the connection must be as deep as ocean yet you prefer the actor??? Can an actor be a true friend?
Time spent.. Will friendship fade with time if the two friends were in the opposite points of the earth? Will the 'friendship' downgrades from true to best, from best to good, from good to mere friends?Different places = less talking = less playing = less time spent together. But still the connections must be still there right? If it really does fade, how meaningful this 'friendship' is? Is it true to say the lesser the communication the faster the 'friendship' fades? Is there a kind of 'friendship' that doesn't fade with time?
Understanding. Well, being 'friends' must have a certain understanding. If that person understands you, knows what makes you happy, knows what you really want but that will eventually bring you further apart (because you know you don't belong there, if not who won't want the best of both worlds?!?), will you let the other person go? Is it consider 'friends' if you selfishly keep your 'friend' by your side when you know your 'friend' will be happier elsewhere? Again, if you let go, will the 'friendship' stays, completely or partially? Or will it fade and just gone with the wind? Will that 'friend' knows how to cherish the friendship built over a long period of time?
Quantity & Quality. Some people like to have as many true friends (Quantity counts) as possible while some prefer keeping 1 or 2 true friends (Quality counts). Most of the popular ones belong to the 1st group and the quiet ones, the latter. Thus bringing us to a question: does the quantity really represent something important? You have to sacrifice the quality for the quantity, true? If you diversify surely the qualities of individual friendship doesn't really make up to the quality of a friend whom you focus on. It doesn't really bring us much problem if the two friends are from the same category.
What if, for instance, A is from Quantity group and Z is from Quality group. Z knows A will only be happy if A has a lot of so called true friends, so Z can't spend much time with A. Therefore in the context of Z, Z will feel that the friendship is somehow weakened, right? Yet maybe for A, A will feel Z had gotten much more and yearn to break off and find other 'friends'... If superimposed on the condition where A knows what Z wants Y to be his next true friend yet A and Y can't meet eye to eye... Of course as a friend, A will definitely let Z go... As A let go, A must have already thought that the 'friendship' will begin to fade just didn't know will fade to which degree? Z on the other hand couldn't understand why A is doing this as in Z's context, Z want to maintain as many true friends as possible (meaning Z doesn't want any of the 'friendships' to drop even slightly). What will happen to them?
It's very complicated when we reflect upon this isn't it? It all boils down to attachments actually is it not? The deeper the connection, the greater the attachment, the harder to let go. Nothing is permanent right?
Tuesday, August 29
Life's a circle...
In the midst of all the assignments, clinicals and lectures... I realize that you really can't escape from the circle of life... All the feelings that i experienced before is all coming back to me now... in the busy schedule, can't help but to feel a bit of tiredness, drop in enthusiasm level, tired of always having to communicate with other people where unevitably i have to put on a mask of some kind...
Really feel like going into a retreat...
Really feel like going into a retreat...
Sunday, August 20
Mum's better...
Been home for 5 days during my university's convo holidays last week...
Seen my mum, although still feeling a bit weak, at least she can walk and talk like before. A big stone off my heart! (Is there such a proverb in english like this? So long time never use essay english, become 'karat' already... *sigh*)
Went to Penang after that to attend convo.. Ate a lot of local dishes such as the all famous Penang cha kuey tiaw, Penang laksa, cendol, loh mee etc
and best of all, finally get to sing karaoke at Gurney Plaza! Ha..Ha... Shiok!
So nice! too bad i don't have a camera, didn't take pictures to post it here.. so you just have to imagine lar... = )
Seen my mum, although still feeling a bit weak, at least she can walk and talk like before. A big stone off my heart! (Is there such a proverb in english like this? So long time never use essay english, become 'karat' already... *sigh*)
Went to Penang after that to attend convo.. Ate a lot of local dishes such as the all famous Penang cha kuey tiaw, Penang laksa, cendol, loh mee etc
and best of all, finally get to sing karaoke at Gurney Plaza! Ha..Ha... Shiok!
So nice! too bad i don't have a camera, didn't take pictures to post it here.. so you just have to imagine lar... = )
Tuesday, August 1
Days of Sadness...
My mum's been hospitalized in ICU, HSAJB...
It just happened so suddenly..!
Just last week i got a call from my brother saying my mum entered the hospital due to renal calculi (kidney stones)...
Ermm, okay stones aren't a big problem at all, perhaps it will just passed out by itself
Then, last Friday, i got a call from my brother saying my mum had been admitted into ICU! I frozed. I really frozed on the spot.
Worse thing is that they haven't found out the real cause which was causing all the symptoms (low blood pressure, chest pain, O2 saturation low, respiratory failure)!
Then, when i gotten home the next day, more shockingly, i was told my mun have to be intubated (which meant really really serious..!)
Okay, what's worse than this can happened? I really hope not...
We went to visit her everyday and she was already on sedation.
I talked to her when i don't even know whether she could hear me..
Thinking to myself, 'Perhaps this is a chance for her to get back the lost sleepless hours that she had'. Positive thinking, did some good to me at least...
After a few days, the doctor told us that she can be extubated! Boy was i glad! When we visit her the next day, she was conscious as the sedation's effects wore off, but she complains of abdominal pain this time round. Provisional diagnosis: gallstones.
My brother assured me that this is a minor thing compared to what happened to her.
Really hope she won't get any of the complications and recover soon.
It just happened so suddenly..!
Just last week i got a call from my brother saying my mum entered the hospital due to renal calculi (kidney stones)...
Ermm, okay stones aren't a big problem at all, perhaps it will just passed out by itself
Then, last Friday, i got a call from my brother saying my mum had been admitted into ICU! I frozed. I really frozed on the spot.
Worse thing is that they haven't found out the real cause which was causing all the symptoms (low blood pressure, chest pain, O2 saturation low, respiratory failure)!
Then, when i gotten home the next day, more shockingly, i was told my mun have to be intubated (which meant really really serious..!)
Okay, what's worse than this can happened? I really hope not...
We went to visit her everyday and she was already on sedation.
I talked to her when i don't even know whether she could hear me..
Thinking to myself, 'Perhaps this is a chance for her to get back the lost sleepless hours that she had'. Positive thinking, did some good to me at least...
After a few days, the doctor told us that she can be extubated! Boy was i glad! When we visit her the next day, she was conscious as the sedation's effects wore off, but she complains of abdominal pain this time round. Provisional diagnosis: gallstones.
My brother assured me that this is a minor thing compared to what happened to her.
Really hope she won't get any of the complications and recover soon.
Tuesday, July 18
Back in good ol' Kelantan
Wow... I never realize time flies THIS fast... I am in my third year of university life already..!
Coming back to this place always had an effect on me. When i first step into the campus, i was like "Omigod! Same ol' place same ol' problem: have to study like h**l liao... if i still want to advance"
Third year = Exam year = Bad
= (
Then, seeing the freshies walking here and there trying to familiarize the new environment brings back ol' memories... how i acted during my first year: explore the whole campus on feet, go town by waiting for the public bus which comes every 30 mins (0_O), having to greet every seniors i met, try to be friendly to others, join activities, all the while struggling with my studies... not an easy feat i must say... Been there, done that!
Now, i just wanna put in more effort into my studies as well as to make some changes to myself. I hope really really to be able to improve myself in some ways. Well, men have to keep flowing and improving with time.. which is a tough feat for me!
New semester, new resolutions, new hope...!
Coming back to this place always had an effect on me. When i first step into the campus, i was like "Omigod! Same ol' place same ol' problem: have to study like h**l liao... if i still want to advance"
Third year = Exam year = Bad
= (
Then, seeing the freshies walking here and there trying to familiarize the new environment brings back ol' memories... how i acted during my first year: explore the whole campus on feet, go town by waiting for the public bus which comes every 30 mins (0_O), having to greet every seniors i met, try to be friendly to others, join activities, all the while struggling with my studies... not an easy feat i must say... Been there, done that!
Now, i just wanna put in more effort into my studies as well as to make some changes to myself. I hope really really to be able to improve myself in some ways. Well, men have to keep flowing and improving with time.. which is a tough feat for me!
New semester, new resolutions, new hope...!
Monday, June 26
Happy Birthday to Me!
It's a happy 25th June! It's my birthday!!!
Happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me eee,
happy birthday to me. (^^,)
It's meaningful birthday this year beacuse i did something good this day to mark my birthday!
We went to a Home in Taman Megah with disabled kids... We played with them and they really enjoyed our company. We can really see they need someone to care for them. I'm glad i am able to inject some joy into their lives.
It felt great!
Happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me eee,
happy birthday to me. (^^,)
It's meaningful birthday this year beacuse i did something good this day to mark my birthday!
We went to a Home in Taman Megah with disabled kids... We played with them and they really enjoyed our company. We can really see they need someone to care for them. I'm glad i am able to inject some joy into their lives.
It felt great!
Thursday, June 22
A Day at Taman Sinar Harapan
It's been a while since i have posted something here... i have been in KL for about 3 weeks now with no internet access for my Undergraduate Training Programme.
It's been a very wonderful experience for me: i met a lot of new friends whom i feel are really amazing people, each with their very own virtues and specialties.
Yesterday, i went to Taman Sinar Harapan with this group of friends. This place is located in Selangor and is a place for people with disabilities, some mild and some severe; some very young and some very old. Some were sent here by families and some were abandoned by their families.
We did some chores for them yet those were only very little things that we were able to do for them compare to the staffs that works day and night who cares for them 24/7.
At first, seeing them made my mind dropped to a state to depressed and sympathic; it made me wonders why would there be people who have to suffer like this and it's for a lifetime..! Some were bedridden and will be bedridden for the rest of their life; some unable to speak, some unable to see; some are left with only the sense of touch and most of them live in a world of their own. Yet some are just to normal to be there..! They can sing and dance just like us, maybe better!
As the day progressed, i began to feel quite differently. I shouldn't have the feeling of sympathy for them, i should be empathic... i also realised what's more important is that they are happy in the world of their own and doesn't care about the woes of the outside world..! They may be happier than most of us!
I felt better after that, and able to blend in with them better and felt happy that i am able to make them gay!
All of us felt contented and have a great sense of fulfillment when we left the place. After this trip, we will go to another home with disabilities on the 25th June.
-The more you give, the more you'll receive, the more happy you'll be!-
It's been a very wonderful experience for me: i met a lot of new friends whom i feel are really amazing people, each with their very own virtues and specialties.
Yesterday, i went to Taman Sinar Harapan with this group of friends. This place is located in Selangor and is a place for people with disabilities, some mild and some severe; some very young and some very old. Some were sent here by families and some were abandoned by their families.
We did some chores for them yet those were only very little things that we were able to do for them compare to the staffs that works day and night who cares for them 24/7.
At first, seeing them made my mind dropped to a state to depressed and sympathic; it made me wonders why would there be people who have to suffer like this and it's for a lifetime..! Some were bedridden and will be bedridden for the rest of their life; some unable to speak, some unable to see; some are left with only the sense of touch and most of them live in a world of their own. Yet some are just to normal to be there..! They can sing and dance just like us, maybe better!
As the day progressed, i began to feel quite differently. I shouldn't have the feeling of sympathy for them, i should be empathic... i also realised what's more important is that they are happy in the world of their own and doesn't care about the woes of the outside world..! They may be happier than most of us!
I felt better after that, and able to blend in with them better and felt happy that i am able to make them gay!
All of us felt contented and have a great sense of fulfillment when we left the place. After this trip, we will go to another home with disabilities on the 25th June.
-The more you give, the more you'll receive, the more happy you'll be!-
Thursday, May 18
Turtle elective!
Sorry for late posting... i had just finish my elective programme at terengganu where i spent 2 weeks living a 'primitive' lifestyle without the wonders of electricity! therefore, i had no access to the net and subsequently unable to post.
The whole experience is wonderful! For the 1st 5 days, i went to a beach in Redang Island named Mak Kepit which is a turtle sanctuary. There, me and my friends had to cook our own meals, and helped the workers there to patrol at night. Every night, there's about 2 to 3 turtles that would come ashore to lay eggs.. our job includes tag the turtle for identification, detect any abnormalities of the mother turtle and also measure the diameters of the turtle eggs...
The sight of the mother turtles laying eggs is eye-opening! the whole process will take about 3 to 4 hours where most of the time will be used in finding the perfect spot and hole-digging! the actual process of egg-laying will only take about 30 minutes! Then, the mother had to cover the hole and make its way back into the ocean. It's a really tough process.
During daytime, we are free as there's nothing much to do, most of our job was done at night. So, we went snorkelling everyday in the afternoon just in front of the beach!
The people there treat us very well and we formed strong bonds... and we really feel relunctant to leave the beach when the day comes...
then, we were assigned to another area named Ma' Daerah which is another turtle sanctuary. We joined in their Weekend Programme and had a lot of fun with the participants. And what luck! We got to see turtle hatchlings emerge from their nest and had the oppurtunity to free the hatchlings into the ocean!!!
The little hatchlings are soooooo cute!!!
I am really glad i had chosen this topic as my elective studies..! The experience is priceless.
The whole experience is wonderful! For the 1st 5 days, i went to a beach in Redang Island named Mak Kepit which is a turtle sanctuary. There, me and my friends had to cook our own meals, and helped the workers there to patrol at night. Every night, there's about 2 to 3 turtles that would come ashore to lay eggs.. our job includes tag the turtle for identification, detect any abnormalities of the mother turtle and also measure the diameters of the turtle eggs...
The sight of the mother turtles laying eggs is eye-opening! the whole process will take about 3 to 4 hours where most of the time will be used in finding the perfect spot and hole-digging! the actual process of egg-laying will only take about 30 minutes! Then, the mother had to cover the hole and make its way back into the ocean. It's a really tough process.
During daytime, we are free as there's nothing much to do, most of our job was done at night. So, we went snorkelling everyday in the afternoon just in front of the beach!
The people there treat us very well and we formed strong bonds... and we really feel relunctant to leave the beach when the day comes...
then, we were assigned to another area named Ma' Daerah which is another turtle sanctuary. We joined in their Weekend Programme and had a lot of fun with the participants. And what luck! We got to see turtle hatchlings emerge from their nest and had the oppurtunity to free the hatchlings into the ocean!!!
The little hatchlings are soooooo cute!!!
I am really glad i had chosen this topic as my elective studies..! The experience is priceless.
Thursday, April 13
Last Day of 2nd year lecture!
With the ending of today's lecture, i have finished my 2nd year course and study week will commence starting tomorrow. In about a week, i will be having my continuous assessment and after that i will undergo a month elective programme and that will put a full stop to my 2nd year life!
Time just fly by so fast... Don't they ever wait for others?
Well wish me luck for the coming test!
Time just fly by so fast... Don't they ever wait for others?
Well wish me luck for the coming test!
Sunday, April 9
House..
Recently, my coursemate introduce this series to me and it is really a fantastic show...
House is an english series that revolves around the life of a doctor (House is his name) who solves a particularly difficult case every episode.
It's interesting to see how he actually apply medical knowledge (and finally i can actually see what i am learning getting applied... it's exciting when a familiar term was heard during the show..!) and it's different from Scrub as in Scrub, it's a funnier version of what you would (most probably not) get in a hospital...
I would recommend medical students and medical students-to-be to try watch it, it kinds of give a morale booster too...
Enjoy!
House is an english series that revolves around the life of a doctor (House is his name) who solves a particularly difficult case every episode.
It's interesting to see how he actually apply medical knowledge (and finally i can actually see what i am learning getting applied... it's exciting when a familiar term was heard during the show..!) and it's different from Scrub as in Scrub, it's a funnier version of what you would (most probably not) get in a hospital...
I would recommend medical students and medical students-to-be to try watch it, it kinds of give a morale booster too...
Enjoy!
Thursday, April 6
2 Clinicals in 1 Day!!!
Well... the previous problems not solve but it's slowly 'dissolving' if you get what i meant...
anyway on this particular 'lucky' day where i can be as free as a bird..the whole day.. mind you, changed into a busy-as-a-bee-day for me.
i have been wearing my white coat since morning! It so happens that i get to finally replace my GastroIntestinal clinical session that i missed 2 months back (which is a very long time ago) this morning, which actually is a good thing because i need to pass up a report for it. Then, i have to present my Obstetric & Gynaecology case this afternoon!
Carefree Day => Super Hectic Day
i think i should get used to it though because i am predicting that i'll be facing this kind of situation a lot if not everyday in the future...
anyway on this particular 'lucky' day where i can be as free as a bird..the whole day.. mind you, changed into a busy-as-a-bee-day for me.
i have been wearing my white coat since morning! It so happens that i get to finally replace my GastroIntestinal clinical session that i missed 2 months back (which is a very long time ago) this morning, which actually is a good thing because i need to pass up a report for it. Then, i have to present my Obstetric & Gynaecology case this afternoon!
Carefree Day => Super Hectic Day
i think i should get used to it though because i am predicting that i'll be facing this kind of situation a lot if not everyday in the future...
Sunday, March 26
Conflict
Life in full of choices, that is the truth that i realized some times ago yet everytime i am to make a choice, i will still struggle which to choose....
I guess humans are like that huh? You will react differently when you are in the real situation compared to what you say or seemed to react if you are in that particular situation...
Recently, something happened between me and one of my friend... he is the kind of guy that doesn't care much about how you feel or will do anything for this relationship, a freelancer who will find anyone he seemed expert enough to help him in different aspects.
So, something happened and i went into cold war with him.. it wasn't really his fault in the 1st place but when i see him, i just don't know how to react... he seemed nonchalant about it and it just irritates me, although i know i shouldn't feel this way... how should i settle this? by putting up my white flag? or continue the 'war'? or wait for him to surrender although i know it's impossible? or just wait until we both forget about everything or maybe just end this friendship which doesn't seemed to affect him even a little?
Well, that's life isn't it? Problems, problems and more problems...
= (
Hope i can find something that can make me feel a bit better now... i guess i'll indulgence myself with some nice food and a good afternoon nap after this! that should make me feel better...
= )
I guess humans are like that huh? You will react differently when you are in the real situation compared to what you say or seemed to react if you are in that particular situation...
Recently, something happened between me and one of my friend... he is the kind of guy that doesn't care much about how you feel or will do anything for this relationship, a freelancer who will find anyone he seemed expert enough to help him in different aspects.
So, something happened and i went into cold war with him.. it wasn't really his fault in the 1st place but when i see him, i just don't know how to react... he seemed nonchalant about it and it just irritates me, although i know i shouldn't feel this way... how should i settle this? by putting up my white flag? or continue the 'war'? or wait for him to surrender although i know it's impossible? or just wait until we both forget about everything or maybe just end this friendship which doesn't seemed to affect him even a little?
Well, that's life isn't it? Problems, problems and more problems...
= (
Hope i can find something that can make me feel a bit better now... i guess i'll indulgence myself with some nice food and a good afternoon nap after this! that should make me feel better...
= )
Thursday, March 9
Back from Langkawi!!!
I had so much fun in Langkawi! My 4 days stay there seemed to pass so quickly...
On the first day, we went to the Underwater World where we saw a lot of fishes and the penguins are so cute!!!
When the penguin swim, only their anterior white coloured part is in the water and the rest is above water. guess you can try imagine how they looked like!
Then we went to sit the cable car to the mountain top and the scenery is picturesque... to feel the breeze gently blowing is so refreshing and calming... we also watched the sunset there...
The next day, we went to our Prime Gallery (Galeri Perdana) where stuffs related to our previous prime minister Dato' Seri Dr. Mahathir Mohamad are displayed. In the evening, we went to a beach to swim but very unluckily, all of us were bitten by unknown species of bug and i was badly bitten: there are a lot of red dots on my extremities and itchiness kept bugging me since
= (
The third day was the best as we journeyed out to the waters... we went to a dormant volcano island named Pregnant Lady Island (Pulau Dayang Bunting) and swam in the lake and played banana boat!!! It was so exciting and adrenaline-pumping experience as we are thrown into the waters!!!
The last day is our shopping day and we bought lots and lots of CHOCOLATE!!!
*to KP: KK is back in jb now until Sunday, so if you can get hold of him, maybe he'll give you some of it...
Overall, it was really fun but now i am still itching due to the bug bites...
On the first day, we went to the Underwater World where we saw a lot of fishes and the penguins are so cute!!!
When the penguin swim, only their anterior white coloured part is in the water and the rest is above water. guess you can try imagine how they looked like!
Then we went to sit the cable car to the mountain top and the scenery is picturesque... to feel the breeze gently blowing is so refreshing and calming... we also watched the sunset there...
The next day, we went to our Prime Gallery (Galeri Perdana) where stuffs related to our previous prime minister Dato' Seri Dr. Mahathir Mohamad are displayed. In the evening, we went to a beach to swim but very unluckily, all of us were bitten by unknown species of bug and i was badly bitten: there are a lot of red dots on my extremities and itchiness kept bugging me since
= (
The third day was the best as we journeyed out to the waters... we went to a dormant volcano island named Pregnant Lady Island (Pulau Dayang Bunting) and swam in the lake and played banana boat!!! It was so exciting and adrenaline-pumping experience as we are thrown into the waters!!!
The last day is our shopping day and we bought lots and lots of CHOCOLATE!!!
*to KP: KK is back in jb now until Sunday, so if you can get hold of him, maybe he'll give you some of it...
Overall, it was really fun but now i am still itching due to the bug bites...
Tuesday, February 28
Back from Village...
Wow, just came back from my village yesterday.
it felt really nice during the stay actually so i kinda miss it... a little.
Most of the 'mokcik'(aunties) and 'pokcik'(uncles) are really kind while we are doing survey at their houses.
some even served food!!! i've tasted the infamous 'lakse kelate'(Kelantanese laksa) and of course my village's specialty: 'ayer nyiur wangi'(coconut water)!!!
Now that i am back, i am looking forward for my Langkawi trip!!!
Oh, this world is full of joy!!!
it felt really nice during the stay actually so i kinda miss it... a little.
Most of the 'mokcik'(aunties) and 'pokcik'(uncles) are really kind while we are doing survey at their houses.
some even served food!!! i've tasted the infamous 'lakse kelate'(Kelantanese laksa) and of course my village's specialty: 'ayer nyiur wangi'(coconut water)!!!
Now that i am back, i am looking forward for my Langkawi trip!!!
Oh, this world is full of joy!!!
Tuesday, February 21
Have to enter village in 2 days...
As a part of our medical programme, we have to live with a foster family at a nearby village while we do community research there.
this will be the 2nd time we are going in and it's for another 5 days.
During the stay, we will be doing questionnaires from families to families...
After that have to prepare data for presentation to panel as well as prepare a proposal for intervention to the problems in the village.
So, i will be busy for quite some times and most probably have to time to update.
Wish me luck.
this will be the 2nd time we are going in and it's for another 5 days.
During the stay, we will be doing questionnaires from families to families...
After that have to prepare data for presentation to panel as well as prepare a proposal for intervention to the problems in the village.
So, i will be busy for quite some times and most probably have to time to update.
Wish me luck.
Sunday, February 12
What is love?
Valentines approaching and everybody is asking everybody these questions:
- who you are going out with?
- where you are going to bring thet person to?
- what is your present?
This makes me think about what love really is? and the purpose of finding a lifetime partner.
For me, i feel that there is no such need! If you are talking about partnership and connections, you can always find your friends, i think everybody will have at least 1 true friend to turn to... and sometimes, your true friends are even closer to you compare to your partner..!
If it's only to live together till old, start a family, have sex, have children, then i feel it's redundant and is added the element of lust.
The qualities of love is that you care for the other person unconditionally, never expect anything in return...
Or perhaps it's our animal instinct that guide us to seek for a sex partner, to continue our species legacy; dates and marriage is just social ethics to get the hunt.
Just bits of my thoughts. pls don't mind my blabberings...
Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to all!
- who you are going out with?
- where you are going to bring thet person to?
- what is your present?
This makes me think about what love really is? and the purpose of finding a lifetime partner.
For me, i feel that there is no such need! If you are talking about partnership and connections, you can always find your friends, i think everybody will have at least 1 true friend to turn to... and sometimes, your true friends are even closer to you compare to your partner..!
If it's only to live together till old, start a family, have sex, have children, then i feel it's redundant and is added the element of lust.
The qualities of love is that you care for the other person unconditionally, never expect anything in return...
Or perhaps it's our animal instinct that guide us to seek for a sex partner, to continue our species legacy; dates and marriage is just social ethics to get the hunt.
Just bits of my thoughts. pls don't mind my blabberings...
Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to all!
Monday, February 6
Happy Chinese New Year!
Wow... every year, it will be a different experience.
This is the first year my sister-in-law joins us for reunion dinner. It's been a while since reunion dinner is so lively. We cracked jokes and talked throughtout the dinner.
But, this year i didn't get to meet as many friends as yesteryears... mainly due to timing... maybe next year.
now, that i am back in campus... everything had to begin from the start; the mega 'Chinese New Year Night' is over (at last... after 3 months of hard work); now had to concentrate on studies! time to get my notes and stuffs reorganized... which is quite messy... and i actually haven't quite recover from my lack of sleep during that period... = (
plus, have to wait for the 'Post-CNY Syndrome' to subside...
symptoms include
- staring at the same page for longer than 15 minutes and still don't know what's it about;
- at a fixed time of the day (for me, it's 8.00 pm at night) we lost control and just have to idle around aimlessly or look for friends to chat away the time;
- most converstion are governed by what happened that night, who wore what, comments and stuffs associated with it...
usually this syndrome will subside after about 1 month if mild and for those who are more serious, it can lasts for half a year!!!
Well then, time to start afresh! Ahoy, here comes nerdy Jason once again!!!
This is the first year my sister-in-law joins us for reunion dinner. It's been a while since reunion dinner is so lively. We cracked jokes and talked throughtout the dinner.
But, this year i didn't get to meet as many friends as yesteryears... mainly due to timing... maybe next year.
now, that i am back in campus... everything had to begin from the start; the mega 'Chinese New Year Night' is over (at last... after 3 months of hard work); now had to concentrate on studies! time to get my notes and stuffs reorganized... which is quite messy... and i actually haven't quite recover from my lack of sleep during that period... = (
plus, have to wait for the 'Post-CNY Syndrome' to subside...
symptoms include
- staring at the same page for longer than 15 minutes and still don't know what's it about;
- at a fixed time of the day (for me, it's 8.00 pm at night) we lost control and just have to idle around aimlessly or look for friends to chat away the time;
- most converstion are governed by what happened that night, who wore what, comments and stuffs associated with it...
usually this syndrome will subside after about 1 month if mild and for those who are more serious, it can lasts for half a year!!!
Well then, time to start afresh! Ahoy, here comes nerdy Jason once again!!!
Monday, January 9
Long time no update...
Sorry lar for not updating frequently, just like i said, these few weeks are the crucial weeks for me to finish up the preparation for CNY Night.
Now, everyday doing the same routine:
- late morning: sleep (because couldn't wake up on time to go for 1st lecture)
- afternoon: sleep at lecture hall (because the lecture too boring, and tiredness overcome me)
- night: active! doing props for sketch, finish up decoration items until early in the morning...
- early morning: do assignments and reports...
- and the cycle repeats itself...
However, i really enjoyed the time well spent. Just last friday, i spent the whole day at the sewing machine (the old type where you have to step on the paddle). Although it's tiring but i find it fun and the sense of accomplishment when i saw the result! All the beautifully sewn clothes, my art!!! ; p
Well, will keep on working hard as the 'big' night is getting nearer and nearer...
Now, everyday doing the same routine:
- late morning: sleep (because couldn't wake up on time to go for 1st lecture)
- afternoon: sleep at lecture hall (because the lecture too boring, and tiredness overcome me)
- night: active! doing props for sketch, finish up decoration items until early in the morning...
- early morning: do assignments and reports...
- and the cycle repeats itself...
However, i really enjoyed the time well spent. Just last friday, i spent the whole day at the sewing machine (the old type where you have to step on the paddle). Although it's tiring but i find it fun and the sense of accomplishment when i saw the result! All the beautifully sewn clothes, my art!!! ; p
Well, will keep on working hard as the 'big' night is getting nearer and nearer...
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