Life in full of choices, that is the truth that i realized some times ago yet everytime i am to make a choice, i will still struggle which to choose....
I guess humans are like that huh? You will react differently when you are in the real situation compared to what you say or seemed to react if you are in that particular situation...
Recently, something happened between me and one of my friend... he is the kind of guy that doesn't care much about how you feel or will do anything for this relationship, a freelancer who will find anyone he seemed expert enough to help him in different aspects.
So, something happened and i went into cold war with him.. it wasn't really his fault in the 1st place but when i see him, i just don't know how to react... he seemed nonchalant about it and it just irritates me, although i know i shouldn't feel this way... how should i settle this? by putting up my white flag? or continue the 'war'? or wait for him to surrender although i know it's impossible? or just wait until we both forget about everything or maybe just end this friendship which doesn't seemed to affect him even a little?
Well, that's life isn't it? Problems, problems and more problems...
= (
Hope i can find something that can make me feel a bit better now... i guess i'll indulgence myself with some nice food and a good afternoon nap after this! that should make me feel better...
= )
Sunday, March 26
Thursday, March 9
Back from Langkawi!!!
I had so much fun in Langkawi! My 4 days stay there seemed to pass so quickly...
On the first day, we went to the Underwater World where we saw a lot of fishes and the penguins are so cute!!!
When the penguin swim, only their anterior white coloured part is in the water and the rest is above water. guess you can try imagine how they looked like!
Then we went to sit the cable car to the mountain top and the scenery is picturesque... to feel the breeze gently blowing is so refreshing and calming... we also watched the sunset there...
The next day, we went to our Prime Gallery (Galeri Perdana) where stuffs related to our previous prime minister Dato' Seri Dr. Mahathir Mohamad are displayed. In the evening, we went to a beach to swim but very unluckily, all of us were bitten by unknown species of bug and i was badly bitten: there are a lot of red dots on my extremities and itchiness kept bugging me since
= (
The third day was the best as we journeyed out to the waters... we went to a dormant volcano island named Pregnant Lady Island (Pulau Dayang Bunting) and swam in the lake and played banana boat!!! It was so exciting and adrenaline-pumping experience as we are thrown into the waters!!!
The last day is our shopping day and we bought lots and lots of CHOCOLATE!!!
*to KP: KK is back in jb now until Sunday, so if you can get hold of him, maybe he'll give you some of it...
Overall, it was really fun but now i am still itching due to the bug bites...
On the first day, we went to the Underwater World where we saw a lot of fishes and the penguins are so cute!!!
When the penguin swim, only their anterior white coloured part is in the water and the rest is above water. guess you can try imagine how they looked like!
Then we went to sit the cable car to the mountain top and the scenery is picturesque... to feel the breeze gently blowing is so refreshing and calming... we also watched the sunset there...
The next day, we went to our Prime Gallery (Galeri Perdana) where stuffs related to our previous prime minister Dato' Seri Dr. Mahathir Mohamad are displayed. In the evening, we went to a beach to swim but very unluckily, all of us were bitten by unknown species of bug and i was badly bitten: there are a lot of red dots on my extremities and itchiness kept bugging me since
= (
The third day was the best as we journeyed out to the waters... we went to a dormant volcano island named Pregnant Lady Island (Pulau Dayang Bunting) and swam in the lake and played banana boat!!! It was so exciting and adrenaline-pumping experience as we are thrown into the waters!!!
The last day is our shopping day and we bought lots and lots of CHOCOLATE!!!
*to KP: KK is back in jb now until Sunday, so if you can get hold of him, maybe he'll give you some of it...
Overall, it was really fun but now i am still itching due to the bug bites...
Tuesday, February 28
Back from Village...
Wow, just came back from my village yesterday.
it felt really nice during the stay actually so i kinda miss it... a little.
Most of the 'mokcik'(aunties) and 'pokcik'(uncles) are really kind while we are doing survey at their houses.
some even served food!!! i've tasted the infamous 'lakse kelate'(Kelantanese laksa) and of course my village's specialty: 'ayer nyiur wangi'(coconut water)!!!
Now that i am back, i am looking forward for my Langkawi trip!!!
Oh, this world is full of joy!!!
it felt really nice during the stay actually so i kinda miss it... a little.
Most of the 'mokcik'(aunties) and 'pokcik'(uncles) are really kind while we are doing survey at their houses.
some even served food!!! i've tasted the infamous 'lakse kelate'(Kelantanese laksa) and of course my village's specialty: 'ayer nyiur wangi'(coconut water)!!!
Now that i am back, i am looking forward for my Langkawi trip!!!
Oh, this world is full of joy!!!
Tuesday, February 21
Have to enter village in 2 days...
As a part of our medical programme, we have to live with a foster family at a nearby village while we do community research there.
this will be the 2nd time we are going in and it's for another 5 days.
During the stay, we will be doing questionnaires from families to families...
After that have to prepare data for presentation to panel as well as prepare a proposal for intervention to the problems in the village.
So, i will be busy for quite some times and most probably have to time to update.
Wish me luck.
this will be the 2nd time we are going in and it's for another 5 days.
During the stay, we will be doing questionnaires from families to families...
After that have to prepare data for presentation to panel as well as prepare a proposal for intervention to the problems in the village.
So, i will be busy for quite some times and most probably have to time to update.
Wish me luck.
Sunday, February 12
What is love?
Valentines approaching and everybody is asking everybody these questions:
- who you are going out with?
- where you are going to bring thet person to?
- what is your present?
This makes me think about what love really is? and the purpose of finding a lifetime partner.
For me, i feel that there is no such need! If you are talking about partnership and connections, you can always find your friends, i think everybody will have at least 1 true friend to turn to... and sometimes, your true friends are even closer to you compare to your partner..!
If it's only to live together till old, start a family, have sex, have children, then i feel it's redundant and is added the element of lust.
The qualities of love is that you care for the other person unconditionally, never expect anything in return...
Or perhaps it's our animal instinct that guide us to seek for a sex partner, to continue our species legacy; dates and marriage is just social ethics to get the hunt.
Just bits of my thoughts. pls don't mind my blabberings...
Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to all!
- who you are going out with?
- where you are going to bring thet person to?
- what is your present?
This makes me think about what love really is? and the purpose of finding a lifetime partner.
For me, i feel that there is no such need! If you are talking about partnership and connections, you can always find your friends, i think everybody will have at least 1 true friend to turn to... and sometimes, your true friends are even closer to you compare to your partner..!
If it's only to live together till old, start a family, have sex, have children, then i feel it's redundant and is added the element of lust.
The qualities of love is that you care for the other person unconditionally, never expect anything in return...
Or perhaps it's our animal instinct that guide us to seek for a sex partner, to continue our species legacy; dates and marriage is just social ethics to get the hunt.
Just bits of my thoughts. pls don't mind my blabberings...
Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to all!
Monday, February 6
Happy Chinese New Year!
Wow... every year, it will be a different experience.
This is the first year my sister-in-law joins us for reunion dinner. It's been a while since reunion dinner is so lively. We cracked jokes and talked throughtout the dinner.
But, this year i didn't get to meet as many friends as yesteryears... mainly due to timing... maybe next year.
now, that i am back in campus... everything had to begin from the start; the mega 'Chinese New Year Night' is over (at last... after 3 months of hard work); now had to concentrate on studies! time to get my notes and stuffs reorganized... which is quite messy... and i actually haven't quite recover from my lack of sleep during that period... = (
plus, have to wait for the 'Post-CNY Syndrome' to subside...
symptoms include
- staring at the same page for longer than 15 minutes and still don't know what's it about;
- at a fixed time of the day (for me, it's 8.00 pm at night) we lost control and just have to idle around aimlessly or look for friends to chat away the time;
- most converstion are governed by what happened that night, who wore what, comments and stuffs associated with it...
usually this syndrome will subside after about 1 month if mild and for those who are more serious, it can lasts for half a year!!!
Well then, time to start afresh! Ahoy, here comes nerdy Jason once again!!!
This is the first year my sister-in-law joins us for reunion dinner. It's been a while since reunion dinner is so lively. We cracked jokes and talked throughtout the dinner.
But, this year i didn't get to meet as many friends as yesteryears... mainly due to timing... maybe next year.
now, that i am back in campus... everything had to begin from the start; the mega 'Chinese New Year Night' is over (at last... after 3 months of hard work); now had to concentrate on studies! time to get my notes and stuffs reorganized... which is quite messy... and i actually haven't quite recover from my lack of sleep during that period... = (
plus, have to wait for the 'Post-CNY Syndrome' to subside...
symptoms include
- staring at the same page for longer than 15 minutes and still don't know what's it about;
- at a fixed time of the day (for me, it's 8.00 pm at night) we lost control and just have to idle around aimlessly or look for friends to chat away the time;
- most converstion are governed by what happened that night, who wore what, comments and stuffs associated with it...
usually this syndrome will subside after about 1 month if mild and for those who are more serious, it can lasts for half a year!!!
Well then, time to start afresh! Ahoy, here comes nerdy Jason once again!!!
Monday, January 9
Long time no update...
Sorry lar for not updating frequently, just like i said, these few weeks are the crucial weeks for me to finish up the preparation for CNY Night.
Now, everyday doing the same routine:
- late morning: sleep (because couldn't wake up on time to go for 1st lecture)
- afternoon: sleep at lecture hall (because the lecture too boring, and tiredness overcome me)
- night: active! doing props for sketch, finish up decoration items until early in the morning...
- early morning: do assignments and reports...
- and the cycle repeats itself...
However, i really enjoyed the time well spent. Just last friday, i spent the whole day at the sewing machine (the old type where you have to step on the paddle). Although it's tiring but i find it fun and the sense of accomplishment when i saw the result! All the beautifully sewn clothes, my art!!! ; p
Well, will keep on working hard as the 'big' night is getting nearer and nearer...
Now, everyday doing the same routine:
- late morning: sleep (because couldn't wake up on time to go for 1st lecture)
- afternoon: sleep at lecture hall (because the lecture too boring, and tiredness overcome me)
- night: active! doing props for sketch, finish up decoration items until early in the morning...
- early morning: do assignments and reports...
- and the cycle repeats itself...
However, i really enjoyed the time well spent. Just last friday, i spent the whole day at the sewing machine (the old type where you have to step on the paddle). Although it's tiring but i find it fun and the sense of accomplishment when i saw the result! All the beautifully sewn clothes, my art!!! ; p
Well, will keep on working hard as the 'big' night is getting nearer and nearer...
Monday, December 19
It's beginning...
This is the first time i am posting after a long strenous week of all day self studying just for 2 short days of exam!
Although i had a week but when it comes to exam, most of the answers are quite spontaneusly creatively written without real concrete idea of what it is... those gone through numerous exam will know what i am trying to say (i guess)...
So, i really can't guess what sort of result i will get but i don't think this is worth worrying because all had beeen set & nothing can change it anymore!
After the exam is the time when all goes into motion... i will be sacrificing my time for the decoration of 'USMKK Chinese New Year Night 2006'! which ultimately means i will have to stay up late until God knows what time, sleeping in lectures, lagging in studies and no time for leisure...
Well, that's life right? I just have to enjoy the whole busy process and get the most out of it!
Wish me luck!
Although i had a week but when it comes to exam, most of the answers are quite spontaneusly creatively written without real concrete idea of what it is... those gone through numerous exam will know what i am trying to say (i guess)...
So, i really can't guess what sort of result i will get but i don't think this is worth worrying because all had beeen set & nothing can change it anymore!
After the exam is the time when all goes into motion... i will be sacrificing my time for the decoration of 'USMKK Chinese New Year Night 2006'! which ultimately means i will have to stay up late until God knows what time, sleeping in lectures, lagging in studies and no time for leisure...
Well, that's life right? I just have to enjoy the whole busy process and get the most out of it!
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, November 29
Thanks 4 finding back my motivation....
Been sick for the past few days partly due to the terrible weather here... it just kept raining and raining... i was caught once in the rain and there i was in my bed, down with fever, flu , headache and cough. I slept a lot in my hostel these few days, skipped lectures and PBls... didn't have the chance to go online also. So, i didn't noticed the comments till now...
and
Wow... i feel so touched when i saw the comments for my previous post. It's true we will feel exhausted at some point of our lives and especially so when we are in medical line where there's just so many things that need to be done and it's neverending story... only when we sometimes reflect on what we are doing, for what purpose, can we stay on track towards our destinations.
Now that i have my motivation back, i'll just have to keep it close to me so that it won't go lost again...
Well, many thanks for the comments again!!!
and
Wow... i feel so touched when i saw the comments for my previous post. It's true we will feel exhausted at some point of our lives and especially so when we are in medical line where there's just so many things that need to be done and it's neverending story... only when we sometimes reflect on what we are doing, for what purpose, can we stay on track towards our destinations.
Now that i have my motivation back, i'll just have to keep it close to me so that it won't go lost again...
Well, many thanks for the comments again!!!
Thursday, November 17
Reflection of the future
These few days have been such a hectic period for me. It's as if suddenly, all the projects need my attention these few days. I felt so so so tired yet cannot afford to rest.
Firstly, it's the TITAS exam: TITAS stands for Tamaddun Islam & Tamaddun Asia which i haven't been attending lectures. it's all about last minute study! Okay, this is my fault lar... I admit.
Then, it's my clinical presentation where i have to go hospital to clerk a case, prepare my datas & present it to Dr. in 1 days time! Why? Because of the TITAS exam, i have no extra time to clerk case & have to do it after the exam.
Thirdly it's my CNY Deco duty which is starting tomorrow & i really need to prepare a lot of stuff...
Fourthly, it's the CNY drum team where i help my friend to work out the sequence
Also, i am involve in drum performance on 27 Nov & i have practice sessions now & then
Sixthly (is there such a thing as sixthly? this is the 1st time i am using this term!?!), i have to start settle my Wushu Club secretary stuff which i am planning to postpone, again...
Then, my weekly PBL homework....
So, in the end, i barely have time to sleep!!! Some more i am down with this wisdom tooth pain!!! (ARRRRHHHHH)
If this goes on, i am afraid i'll go crazy just like Mariah Carey!!!
This really made me think, is this will be my future? Always occupied by these things and maybe more; leading a hectic lifestyle of a typical doctor? Leaving me no time for personal leisure e.g. sleeping (my favourite), read novels, just idling around doing nothing (yup, thats what i like to do)
Seriously, i am beginning to have second thoughts about becoming a doctor... my motivation had gone down lately & i know it's very dangerous indeed...
Firstly, it's the TITAS exam: TITAS stands for Tamaddun Islam & Tamaddun Asia which i haven't been attending lectures. it's all about last minute study! Okay, this is my fault lar... I admit.
Then, it's my clinical presentation where i have to go hospital to clerk a case, prepare my datas & present it to Dr. in 1 days time! Why? Because of the TITAS exam, i have no extra time to clerk case & have to do it after the exam.
Thirdly it's my CNY Deco duty which is starting tomorrow & i really need to prepare a lot of stuff...
Fourthly, it's the CNY drum team where i help my friend to work out the sequence
Also, i am involve in drum performance on 27 Nov & i have practice sessions now & then
Sixthly (is there such a thing as sixthly? this is the 1st time i am using this term!?!), i have to start settle my Wushu Club secretary stuff which i am planning to postpone, again...
Then, my weekly PBL homework....
So, in the end, i barely have time to sleep!!! Some more i am down with this wisdom tooth pain!!! (ARRRRHHHHH)
If this goes on, i am afraid i'll go crazy just like Mariah Carey!!!
This really made me think, is this will be my future? Always occupied by these things and maybe more; leading a hectic lifestyle of a typical doctor? Leaving me no time for personal leisure e.g. sleeping (my favourite), read novels, just idling around doing nothing (yup, thats what i like to do)
Seriously, i am beginning to have second thoughts about becoming a doctor... my motivation had gone down lately & i know it's very dangerous indeed...
Sunday, November 13
Swollen face...
Aiyoh... just came back to campus for 1 day only, suddenly my left face become swollen due to 1 tiny little wisdom tooth(3rd molar)!!!
Fancy how a little thing can cause a huge change leaving me with only pain and anguish...
Should really go see the dentist, maybe have it extracted!!! But then, i will have no wisdom left!?! (Ha.. Ha.. just a joke lar)
Fancy how a little thing can cause a huge change leaving me with only pain and anguish...
Should really go see the dentist, maybe have it extracted!!! But then, i will have no wisdom left!?! (Ha.. Ha.. just a joke lar)
Saturday, November 5
A Happy & Tired Day!!!
Well, it's been a week since my holiday started and today i am really glad because i got to meet one of my good friends in Singapore... it's been a long time since we met.
Actually we didn't plan thoroughly so we spent half the day waiting for each other...
the story goes like this...
I went to Singapore in the morning with 2 of my friends. At 1st, we planned to meet that friend in Singapore at Ngee Ann City but then we got hungry & find food (well, for us, hunger is a feeling that cannot be allowed to linger long!!!) so we went to find food in Suntec City. I did sent 2 SMSs to him but i don't think he managed to received them (must be the darn international roaming system that i am not used to, ya... i am to blame also lar...) anyway, at that time, i haven't realized yet...
1 hour past yet no signs of him anywhere, so i tried calling using handphone but apparently my call was barred!?! Luckily my friend contact me (he also puzzled why we haven't meet him at designated place) So we window shopped a while & got really tired of walking... (can't truly understand why some people can shop the whole day with such enthusiasm, ('-')?? )
So we proceed to McDonalds for ice-cream! Finally our special character of this blog, my friend KP arrived!!!! (psst... KP sorry ler made you come all the way from your hostel but it's worth it, rite?!?)
Then we walk & talk & shop some more until dinner time. It's the 1st time i am eating a buffet dinner at Singapore and i like the atmosphere a lot and the food is nice too...
Ahh... a perfect evening!
Got back home quite early too & after a bath, my whole body starts to feel the weariness... so i guess it will be an early night's rest for me tonight... Good Nite!!!
-Happiness grows when shared with others-
Actually we didn't plan thoroughly so we spent half the day waiting for each other...
the story goes like this...
I went to Singapore in the morning with 2 of my friends. At 1st, we planned to meet that friend in Singapore at Ngee Ann City but then we got hungry & find food (well, for us, hunger is a feeling that cannot be allowed to linger long!!!) so we went to find food in Suntec City. I did sent 2 SMSs to him but i don't think he managed to received them (must be the darn international roaming system that i am not used to, ya... i am to blame also lar...) anyway, at that time, i haven't realized yet...
1 hour past yet no signs of him anywhere, so i tried calling using handphone but apparently my call was barred!?! Luckily my friend contact me (he also puzzled why we haven't meet him at designated place) So we window shopped a while & got really tired of walking... (can't truly understand why some people can shop the whole day with such enthusiasm, ('-')?? )
So we proceed to McDonalds for ice-cream! Finally our special character of this blog, my friend KP arrived!!!! (psst... KP sorry ler made you come all the way from your hostel but it's worth it, rite?!?)
Then we walk & talk & shop some more until dinner time. It's the 1st time i am eating a buffet dinner at Singapore and i like the atmosphere a lot and the food is nice too...
Ahh... a perfect evening!
Got back home quite early too & after a bath, my whole body starts to feel the weariness... so i guess it will be an early night's rest for me tonight... Good Nite!!!
-Happiness grows when shared with others-
Sunday, October 16
Friend's birthday!!!
Wow! it's been a long time since i had so much fun celebrating my pal's b'day two nights ago.
this friend of mine is quite close with me & we, with other 6 friends called ourselves the '8 immortals' (he..he..he...)
so we decided to give him a grand b'day he'll never forget...
we had a bbq at a sandy beach at night where we thoroughly immersed with joy! it's been a long time since i bbqed.
but something happened that made us move to another location (my bro house)
there, we continued our party where we watched movies, play cards while we finished off the foods.
we end up staying there till about 5 am in the morning!!! luckily we don't have class the next day =)
i slept so soudly until i didn't even hear my alarm ring & slept right through the morning... woke up around 12.30 pm...
life is indeed full of joy... it depends how you wanna live it!
this friend of mine is quite close with me & we, with other 6 friends called ourselves the '8 immortals' (he..he..he...)
so we decided to give him a grand b'day he'll never forget...
we had a bbq at a sandy beach at night where we thoroughly immersed with joy! it's been a long time since i bbqed.
but something happened that made us move to another location (my bro house)
there, we continued our party where we watched movies, play cards while we finished off the foods.
we end up staying there till about 5 am in the morning!!! luckily we don't have class the next day =)
i slept so soudly until i didn't even hear my alarm ring & slept right through the morning... woke up around 12.30 pm...
life is indeed full of joy... it depends how you wanna live it!
Monday, September 19
Mid-Autumn
Last night, i had a lot of fun celebrating Chinese Mid Autumn festival with my cliche...
We had steamboat... & talked & played games... the warmth is so pleasant...
after that, we carried lantern & walked around the campus! it's been a long time since i actually carried a lantern on Mid-Autumn night... As we walked, i finally saw the tree with fireflies that others had spoken about...! It's really beautiful, the tree was decorated just like a christmas tree!!!
I feel much calmer now... hope i can now start to concentrate more on my studies!!!
We had steamboat... & talked & played games... the warmth is so pleasant...
after that, we carried lantern & walked around the campus! it's been a long time since i actually carried a lantern on Mid-Autumn night... As we walked, i finally saw the tree with fireflies that others had spoken about...! It's really beautiful, the tree was decorated just like a christmas tree!!!
I feel much calmer now... hope i can now start to concentrate more on my studies!!!
Thursday, September 1
I really need to take a break...
I really need to take a break... Because i feel I am already reaching my limit...
All this while, i feel i've been involving in too much activities... nearly non-stop. All the business might cause me to somehow neglected my friends & affect those around us... Maybe that's also the main reason why i am so down... Therefore i've decided to take a break & will try not to be involved in new activities after i had finished the ones at hand...
Get some rest & do some reflections!!!
I actually haven't got out of the blues yet... oh no!!!
All this while, i feel i've been involving in too much activities... nearly non-stop. All the business might cause me to somehow neglected my friends & affect those around us... Maybe that's also the main reason why i am so down... Therefore i've decided to take a break & will try not to be involved in new activities after i had finished the ones at hand...
Get some rest & do some reflections!!!
I actually haven't got out of the blues yet... oh no!!!
Tuesday, August 23
A Sad One... = (
I know i shouldn't think about unhappy stuff too much... but somethings are just hard to control, i guess...
Lately, i have an uneasy feeling that some of my closest friends tried to stay a distance from me... i am not actually sure whether it's just me because sometimes they seemed alright but i just can't ignore the feeling...
Their gestures are quite obvious... they seldom talk to me nowadays..., when i tried talking, they never maintained eye contact..., and stuff like that...
When this happens, i just can't ignore it and continue to interact with them as if nothing happened!!! therefore, i also sort of keep a distance with them although now and then i tried to bring up a converstion with them... i know maybe my gesture will worsen the condition but it's just hard to control it...
This recent event made me think a lot... and also fatigue added to my gloominess, i know i might give others a worse impressions; that i am grouchy & gloomy & silent...
It made me think what friends is actually about? i know i m too passive, didn't take initiative to take charge of things... & slow in most things..., indecisive..., blur-blur... & like to keep silence most of the time...
yet i know when the conditions are right, such as with some person or some topics, i can become another person which is quite chit-chatty... & i admit that i m quite dependent upon others & always go with the flow when in a group... yet most of the time i don't know how to convey my feelings & insensitive towards others to some extent..., seemed like i am feelingless & robotlike... only do things that will bring goodness, only look for friends when there's something... i m a bad friend to be with... always on the neutral side & boring & don't know how to carry myself & react accordingly in situations... the worst is my studies are quite good, & i join quite a lot of activities, so that made other people think that i am a proud a** h*** & a show off who keeps the good stuff to myself & didn't contribute to others needs...
Yes i know, you might be thinking 'wow, this guy have so much weaknesses!!!' but who don't have his/her own weaknesses...? it's just that i have a set of the worst combination of weaknesses & my strengths are few...
I really don't have any bad intentions & yes... i know i shouldn't become too attached to the fact that our friendship had becoming to turn sour... eventually everything in the world will change even feelings... yet this very thought was rebuked by my friend that yes, i am too neutral so even if one day he breaks the friendship, it doesn't really matter to me because i'll just accept it, get over it & will not try to change anything...!!!! Do you know just how much that hurts me deep inside...
i just can't help but thinking am i such a jerk? until mu closest friends also turned against me & abandon me?
I am considered a person which very few friends & fewer close friends & fewer true friends... now that this thing happens... i just don't know who i can trust & who to pour my hearts out...
i am feeling really really sad this time & perhaps at the same time, i m getting more & more fatigue because of the activities i joined... so now i am feeling very very down!!!
I really hope that i can get some insight on this myself through self-reflections...
May I be Well & Happy!
May I be Well & Happy!
May I be Well & Happy!
Lately, i have an uneasy feeling that some of my closest friends tried to stay a distance from me... i am not actually sure whether it's just me because sometimes they seemed alright but i just can't ignore the feeling...
Their gestures are quite obvious... they seldom talk to me nowadays..., when i tried talking, they never maintained eye contact..., and stuff like that...
When this happens, i just can't ignore it and continue to interact with them as if nothing happened!!! therefore, i also sort of keep a distance with them although now and then i tried to bring up a converstion with them... i know maybe my gesture will worsen the condition but it's just hard to control it...
This recent event made me think a lot... and also fatigue added to my gloominess, i know i might give others a worse impressions; that i am grouchy & gloomy & silent...
It made me think what friends is actually about? i know i m too passive, didn't take initiative to take charge of things... & slow in most things..., indecisive..., blur-blur... & like to keep silence most of the time...
yet i know when the conditions are right, such as with some person or some topics, i can become another person which is quite chit-chatty... & i admit that i m quite dependent upon others & always go with the flow when in a group... yet most of the time i don't know how to convey my feelings & insensitive towards others to some extent..., seemed like i am feelingless & robotlike... only do things that will bring goodness, only look for friends when there's something... i m a bad friend to be with... always on the neutral side & boring & don't know how to carry myself & react accordingly in situations... the worst is my studies are quite good, & i join quite a lot of activities, so that made other people think that i am a proud a** h*** & a show off who keeps the good stuff to myself & didn't contribute to others needs...
Yes i know, you might be thinking 'wow, this guy have so much weaknesses!!!' but who don't have his/her own weaknesses...? it's just that i have a set of the worst combination of weaknesses & my strengths are few...
I really don't have any bad intentions & yes... i know i shouldn't become too attached to the fact that our friendship had becoming to turn sour... eventually everything in the world will change even feelings... yet this very thought was rebuked by my friend that yes, i am too neutral so even if one day he breaks the friendship, it doesn't really matter to me because i'll just accept it, get over it & will not try to change anything...!!!! Do you know just how much that hurts me deep inside...
i just can't help but thinking am i such a jerk? until mu closest friends also turned against me & abandon me?
I am considered a person which very few friends & fewer close friends & fewer true friends... now that this thing happens... i just don't know who i can trust & who to pour my hearts out...
i am feeling really really sad this time & perhaps at the same time, i m getting more & more fatigue because of the activities i joined... so now i am feeling very very down!!!
I really hope that i can get some insight on this myself through self-reflections...
May I be Well & Happy!
May I be Well & Happy!
May I be Well & Happy!
Saturday, August 20
One Day Trip To Tumpat!!!
Wow, it has been a long time since i wrote...
i had been really really busy until i think i took on too much responsibility which is NOT good... perhaps it's time for me to retreat a little...
Anyway, on the 19 August i went for a 1 day trip to visit Buddhist temples including the one with Sleeping Buddha, Sitting Buddha, Standing Buddha & Dragon Boat Temple here in Kelantan.
It was vert enjoying! We went together with 1st year juniors & also our batchmates...
In the middle, we had our lunch in Sri Tujuh Beach; played games & sing hymms which was very relaxing & enjoying...
Hope this kind of day will come again many many time sin the future!!!
-Happy is A Simple yet Lovely Thing-
i had been really really busy until i think i took on too much responsibility which is NOT good... perhaps it's time for me to retreat a little...
Anyway, on the 19 August i went for a 1 day trip to visit Buddhist temples including the one with Sleeping Buddha, Sitting Buddha, Standing Buddha & Dragon Boat Temple here in Kelantan.
It was vert enjoying! We went together with 1st year juniors & also our batchmates...
In the middle, we had our lunch in Sri Tujuh Beach; played games & sing hymms which was very relaxing & enjoying...
Hope this kind of day will come again many many time sin the future!!!
-Happy is A Simple yet Lovely Thing-
Thursday, July 28
A busy week!
This whole week had been the most busiest week of all...
all our previous preparations were put into motion... meeting the 1st years and having fun with them is really enjoyable! The only regret is i am sick: sore throat and cough so i just had to keep silent most of the time. Moreover, because i am a photographer, i just keep taking photograph and didn't actually get to know the 1st years well...
That's why i didn't get any bean sprout or origami from any of the juniors... you see, 1 of our programme was for the juniors to grow bean sprouts to give it to their favourite seniors and also they were taught some origami skills which they can then exchange amongst themselves... but in the end... i didn't get any : (
but that is expected lar... so no hard feelings!
Tomorrow will be the last day of the orientation and there will be an official photo session! that is my favourite slot and i borrowed a tripod just for the purpose!
All in all, this week had been a fruitful week for all of us 2nd years here in USMKK!!!
all our previous preparations were put into motion... meeting the 1st years and having fun with them is really enjoyable! The only regret is i am sick: sore throat and cough so i just had to keep silent most of the time. Moreover, because i am a photographer, i just keep taking photograph and didn't actually get to know the 1st years well...
That's why i didn't get any bean sprout or origami from any of the juniors... you see, 1 of our programme was for the juniors to grow bean sprouts to give it to their favourite seniors and also they were taught some origami skills which they can then exchange amongst themselves... but in the end... i didn't get any : (
but that is expected lar... so no hard feelings!
Tomorrow will be the last day of the orientation and there will be an official photo session! that is my favourite slot and i borrowed a tripod just for the purpose!
All in all, this week had been a fruitful week for all of us 2nd years here in USMKK!!!
Wednesday, July 20
1st & 2nd Week...
2 weeks passed just like that...
Apart from having to attend Orientation Week, my friends & me had been busy making preparation for the Buddhist Club Introductory Week in cnjunction with the Desa Orientation Week for the 1st years... we had prepared a lot for them including performances, games etc... myself will be the official photographer for this event *grin*
This is a rare oppurtunity as we seldom have chance to do project together... therefore i really cherished the times we spent together...
Sleeping after 2 am had become a norm for us & every other day, we had to attend meeting...
Well, th Orientation is starting soon so hope this event will be a successful one & all our efforts be paid off!
Apart from having to attend Orientation Week, my friends & me had been busy making preparation for the Buddhist Club Introductory Week in cnjunction with the Desa Orientation Week for the 1st years... we had prepared a lot for them including performances, games etc... myself will be the official photographer for this event *grin*
This is a rare oppurtunity as we seldom have chance to do project together... therefore i really cherished the times we spent together...
Sleeping after 2 am had become a norm for us & every other day, we had to attend meeting...
Well, th Orientation is starting soon so hope this event will be a successful one & all our efforts be paid off!
Thursday, July 14
A New Beginning...
Wow... finally can be declared as 2nd year medical student...
A lot of unhappy things happened for the past week but much more happy things also happened to me... I'll just highlight a few....
When i was boarding the train to Kelantan with my friends, we encounter an old man who yelled at my friend's father when he offered to help the old man. What was the man thinking??? He just rejected a kind offer to help him carry his baggage...!
From his mouth (yah, i listen to every word he said), i sensed the insecurity of the old man, my conjecture was that maybe he was cheated before & lost hope in mankind... but who was to blamed? indeed nowadays, we hear more & more negative news about our society: killings, abuses, terrorism, thieves pretending to be salesman, etc... nobody can say he's wrong for putting up an extra shield when dealing with strangers...
Then, in the train, coincidentally, we met a senior of ours and that proved to be quite a luck because when we arrived at the train station, he offered to share a taxi with one of us; we (me & my friends total up to 4) plus the baggages (a lot) couldn't fit into a taxi!
Bless him!
When we arrived at the hostel, we found out that we couldn't get the keys that day... we can only check in the next morning... therefore all our plans before that have to be changed.
Luckily, i still have my brother! We decided to just enjoy the day & stay overnight at my brother's place. We did our shopping, went for a nice place to try out new dishes for dinner & watched 2 horror movies in a row at my bro's place... we end up sleeping at 3 in the morning.
The next day, we checked in & i was quite pleased with the condition of my room although not perfect... well, humans have desires, i am a human too....
As more & more friends begun to show up, i couldn't help but to feel a warm happy feeling in my heart to be able to see them once again...!
Now, i am going through an orientation programme for us, 2nd years to familiarize with Phase II settings... but that's another story for another day.... Have a nice day!
A lot of unhappy things happened for the past week but much more happy things also happened to me... I'll just highlight a few....
When i was boarding the train to Kelantan with my friends, we encounter an old man who yelled at my friend's father when he offered to help the old man. What was the man thinking??? He just rejected a kind offer to help him carry his baggage...!
From his mouth (yah, i listen to every word he said), i sensed the insecurity of the old man, my conjecture was that maybe he was cheated before & lost hope in mankind... but who was to blamed? indeed nowadays, we hear more & more negative news about our society: killings, abuses, terrorism, thieves pretending to be salesman, etc... nobody can say he's wrong for putting up an extra shield when dealing with strangers...
Then, in the train, coincidentally, we met a senior of ours and that proved to be quite a luck because when we arrived at the train station, he offered to share a taxi with one of us; we (me & my friends total up to 4) plus the baggages (a lot) couldn't fit into a taxi!
Bless him!
When we arrived at the hostel, we found out that we couldn't get the keys that day... we can only check in the next morning... therefore all our plans before that have to be changed.
Luckily, i still have my brother! We decided to just enjoy the day & stay overnight at my brother's place. We did our shopping, went for a nice place to try out new dishes for dinner & watched 2 horror movies in a row at my bro's place... we end up sleeping at 3 in the morning.
The next day, we checked in & i was quite pleased with the condition of my room although not perfect... well, humans have desires, i am a human too....
As more & more friends begun to show up, i couldn't help but to feel a warm happy feeling in my heart to be able to see them once again...!
Now, i am going through an orientation programme for us, 2nd years to familiarize with Phase II settings... but that's another story for another day.... Have a nice day!
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