These few days have been such a hectic period for me. It's as if suddenly, all the projects need my attention these few days. I felt so so so tired yet cannot afford to rest.
Firstly, it's the TITAS exam: TITAS stands for Tamaddun Islam & Tamaddun Asia which i haven't been attending lectures. it's all about last minute study! Okay, this is my fault lar... I admit.
Then, it's my clinical presentation where i have to go hospital to clerk a case, prepare my datas & present it to Dr. in 1 days time! Why? Because of the TITAS exam, i have no extra time to clerk case & have to do it after the exam.
Thirdly it's my CNY Deco duty which is starting tomorrow & i really need to prepare a lot of stuff...
Fourthly, it's the CNY drum team where i help my friend to work out the sequence
Also, i am involve in drum performance on 27 Nov & i have practice sessions now & then
Sixthly (is there such a thing as sixthly? this is the 1st time i am using this term!?!), i have to start settle my Wushu Club secretary stuff which i am planning to postpone, again...
Then, my weekly PBL homework....
So, in the end, i barely have time to sleep!!! Some more i am down with this wisdom tooth pain!!! (ARRRRHHHHH)
If this goes on, i am afraid i'll go crazy just like Mariah Carey!!!
This really made me think, is this will be my future? Always occupied by these things and maybe more; leading a hectic lifestyle of a typical doctor? Leaving me no time for personal leisure e.g. sleeping (my favourite), read novels, just idling around doing nothing (yup, thats what i like to do)
Seriously, i am beginning to have second thoughts about becoming a doctor... my motivation had gone down lately & i know it's very dangerous indeed...
3 comments:
Dont worry.... It's normal to be standing on the road and think "why and why am i picking this road". Afterall, as long as you remember where are you heading to..... You wont get lost and will soon get back to your track.
I hope what i'm saying wont be a stupid tought to you or annoying you. Coz i just some stranger who passby ur blog..
take care...
angie
well ppl say the destination is not important, wat important is the journey... dont think "wat my future going to be like? is it going to be like this?"... instead, u should think "wat can i make out of these? how can i fully maximize wat i m doing now? wat i really enjoy while doing all these?"... just my 2 cents worth of comment...
I was facing medic fatigue after 2 months in medical school. day in day out, nohting but lectures and dreary schoolwork.
then the dengue epidemic broke out in singapore, and alot of elderly people were warded for dengue. every morning on TV mobile, everyone could feel the intensity, the covert fear of how dengue could harm our families and loved ones. everyday close to 200 beds were for dengue cases. suddenly it felt like SARS all over again. medical students were asked to be on standby in case we were needed to be immobilised.
after reflecting on all that has happened (which i just mentioned above), suddenly i told myself.."oh...now I remember why i'm here."
suddenly lectures felt more meaningful then ever.
it's easy to be fatigued. but then again, sometimes all it takes it a little reflection.
our job is difficult, dreary, long, heavy, experating, tedious etc. everybody knows medicine is a cockster job. law, arts, science sudents chiong mamak at 2am, we chiong physio books at 2am. people have salsa classes in the afternoon, we have PBL in the afternoon. damn, we think, why am i even here?
honestly everybody says they know how tough medical life can be. but they won' know until they've been there. conclusion: only WE know what shit we get ourselves into in this line of work.
what else can we do, but offer empathy and a sense of belonging and brethenhood to each other, while the rest of the society cheers us on?
but what drives us on in future...will be the fact knowing we have the most exciting, dynamic frontline jobs on earth..and also bearing in mind the satisfaction that comes to us by the end in the day.
to cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always.
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