It's beginning...

This is the first time i am posting after a long strenous week of all day self studying just for 2 short days of exam!

Although i had a week but when it comes to exam, most of the answers are quite spontaneusly creatively written without real concrete idea of what it is... those gone through numerous exam will know what i am trying to say (i guess)...

So, i really can't guess what sort of result i will get but i don't think this is worth worrying because all had beeen set & nothing can change it anymore!

After the exam is the time when all goes into motion... i will be sacrificing my time for the decoration of 'USMKK Chinese New Year Night 2006'! which ultimately means i will have to stay up late until God knows what time, sleeping in lectures, lagging in studies and no time for leisure...

Well, that's life right? I just have to enjoy the whole busy process and get the most out of it!
Wish me luck!

Thanks 4 finding back my motivation....

Been sick for the past few days partly due to the terrible weather here... it just kept raining and raining... i was caught once in the rain and there i was in my bed, down with fever, flu , headache and cough. I slept a lot in my hostel these few days, skipped lectures and PBls... didn't have the chance to go online also. So, i didn't noticed the comments till now...
and
Wow... i feel so touched when i saw the comments for my previous post. It's true we will feel exhausted at some point of our lives and especially so when we are in medical line where there's just so many things that need to be done and it's neverending story... only when we sometimes reflect on what we are doing, for what purpose, can we stay on track towards our destinations.

Now that i have my motivation back, i'll just have to keep it close to me so that it won't go lost again...

Well, many thanks for the comments again!!!

Reflection of the future

These few days have been such a hectic period for me. It's as if suddenly, all the projects need my attention these few days. I felt so so so tired yet cannot afford to rest.

Firstly, it's the TITAS exam: TITAS stands for Tamaddun Islam & Tamaddun Asia which i haven't been attending lectures. it's all about last minute study! Okay, this is my fault lar... I admit.
Then, it's my clinical presentation where i have to go hospital to clerk a case, prepare my datas & present it to Dr. in 1 days time! Why? Because of the TITAS exam, i have no extra time to clerk case & have to do it after the exam.
Thirdly it's my CNY Deco duty which is starting tomorrow & i really need to prepare a lot of stuff...
Fourthly, it's the CNY drum team where i help my friend to work out the sequence
Also, i am involve in drum performance on 27 Nov & i have practice sessions now & then
Sixthly (is there such a thing as sixthly? this is the 1st time i am using this term!?!), i have to start settle my Wushu Club secretary stuff which i am planning to postpone, again...
Then, my weekly PBL homework....

So, in the end, i barely have time to sleep!!! Some more i am down with this wisdom tooth pain!!! (ARRRRHHHHH)

If this goes on, i am afraid i'll go crazy just like Mariah Carey!!!

This really made me think, is this will be my future? Always occupied by these things and maybe more; leading a hectic lifestyle of a typical doctor? Leaving me no time for personal leisure e.g. sleeping (my favourite), read novels, just idling around doing nothing (yup, thats what i like to do)

Seriously, i am beginning to have second thoughts about becoming a doctor... my motivation had gone down lately & i know it's very dangerous indeed...

Swollen face...

Aiyoh... just came back to campus for 1 day only, suddenly my left face become swollen due to 1 tiny little wisdom tooth(3rd molar)!!!
Fancy how a little thing can cause a huge change leaving me with only pain and anguish...
Should really go see the dentist, maybe have it extracted!!! But then, i will have no wisdom left!?! (Ha.. Ha.. just a joke lar)

A Happy & Tired Day!!!

Well, it's been a week since my holiday started and today i am really glad because i got to meet one of my good friends in Singapore... it's been a long time since we met.
Actually we didn't plan thoroughly so we spent half the day waiting for each other...
the story goes like this...

I went to Singapore in the morning with 2 of my friends. At 1st, we planned to meet that friend in Singapore at Ngee Ann City but then we got hungry & find food (well, for us, hunger is a feeling that cannot be allowed to linger long!!!) so we went to find food in Suntec City. I did sent 2 SMSs to him but i don't think he managed to received them (must be the darn international roaming system that i am not used to, ya... i am to blame also lar...) anyway, at that time, i haven't realized yet...
1 hour past yet no signs of him anywhere, so i tried calling using handphone but apparently my call was barred!?! Luckily my friend contact me (he also puzzled why we haven't meet him at designated place) So we window shopped a while & got really tired of walking... (can't truly understand why some people can shop the whole day with such enthusiasm, ('-')?? )
So we proceed to McDonalds for ice-cream! Finally our special character of this blog, my friend KP arrived!!!! (psst... KP sorry ler made you come all the way from your hostel but it's worth it, rite?!?)
Then we walk & talk & shop some more until dinner time. It's the 1st time i am eating a buffet dinner at Singapore and i like the atmosphere a lot and the food is nice too...
Ahh... a perfect evening!

Got back home quite early too & after a bath, my whole body starts to feel the weariness... so i guess it will be an early night's rest for me tonight... Good Nite!!!


-Happiness grows when shared with others-

Friend's birthday!!!

Wow! it's been a long time since i had so much fun celebrating my pal's b'day two nights ago.
this friend of mine is quite close with me & we, with other 6 friends called ourselves the '8 immortals' (he..he..he...)
so we decided to give him a grand b'day he'll never forget...
we had a bbq at a sandy beach at night where we thoroughly immersed with joy! it's been a long time since i bbqed.
but something happened that made us move to another location (my bro house)
there, we continued our party where we watched movies, play cards while we finished off the foods.
we end up staying there till about 5 am in the morning!!! luckily we don't have class the next day =)
i slept so soudly until i didn't even hear my alarm ring & slept right through the morning... woke up around 12.30 pm...

life is indeed full of joy... it depends how you wanna live it!

Mid-Autumn

Last night, i had a lot of fun celebrating Chinese Mid Autumn festival with my cliche...
We had steamboat... & talked & played games... the warmth is so pleasant...
after that, we carried lantern & walked around the campus! it's been a long time since i actually carried a lantern on Mid-Autumn night... As we walked, i finally saw the tree with fireflies that others had spoken about...! It's really beautiful, the tree was decorated just like a christmas tree!!!

I feel much calmer now... hope i can now start to concentrate more on my studies!!!

I really need to take a break...

I really need to take a break... Because i feel I am already reaching my limit...

All this while, i feel i've been involving in too much activities... nearly non-stop. All the business might cause me to somehow neglected my friends & affect those around us... Maybe that's also the main reason why i am so down... Therefore i've decided to take a break & will try not to be involved in new activities after i had finished the ones at hand...

Get some rest & do some reflections!!!

I actually haven't got out of the blues yet... oh no!!!

A Sad One... = (

I know i shouldn't think about unhappy stuff too much... but somethings are just hard to control, i guess...

Lately, i have an uneasy feeling that some of my closest friends tried to stay a distance from me... i am not actually sure whether it's just me because sometimes they seemed alright but i just can't ignore the feeling...

Their gestures are quite obvious... they seldom talk to me nowadays..., when i tried talking, they never maintained eye contact..., and stuff like that...

When this happens, i just can't ignore it and continue to interact with them as if nothing happened!!! therefore, i also sort of keep a distance with them although now and then i tried to bring up a converstion with them... i know maybe my gesture will worsen the condition but it's just hard to control it...

This recent event made me think a lot... and also fatigue added to my gloominess, i know i might give others a worse impressions; that i am grouchy & gloomy & silent...

It made me think what friends is actually about? i know i m too passive, didn't take initiative to take charge of things... & slow in most things..., indecisive..., blur-blur... & like to keep silence most of the time...
yet i know when the conditions are right, such as with some person or some topics, i can become another person which is quite chit-chatty... & i admit that i m quite dependent upon others & always go with the flow when in a group... yet most of the time i don't know how to convey my feelings & insensitive towards others to some extent..., seemed like i am feelingless & robotlike... only do things that will bring goodness, only look for friends when there's something... i m a bad friend to be with... always on the neutral side & boring & don't know how to carry myself & react accordingly in situations... the worst is my studies are quite good, & i join quite a lot of activities, so that made other people think that i am a proud a** h*** & a show off who keeps the good stuff to myself & didn't contribute to others needs...

Yes i know, you might be thinking 'wow, this guy have so much weaknesses!!!' but who don't have his/her own weaknesses...? it's just that i have a set of the worst combination of weaknesses & my strengths are few...

I really don't have any bad intentions & yes... i know i shouldn't become too attached to the fact that our friendship had becoming to turn sour... eventually everything in the world will change even feelings... yet this very thought was rebuked by my friend that yes, i am too neutral so even if one day he breaks the friendship, it doesn't really matter to me because i'll just accept it, get over it & will not try to change anything...!!!! Do you know just how much that hurts me deep inside...

i just can't help but thinking am i such a jerk? until mu closest friends also turned against me & abandon me?

I am considered a person which very few friends & fewer close friends & fewer true friends... now that this thing happens... i just don't know who i can trust & who to pour my hearts out...

i am feeling really really sad this time & perhaps at the same time, i m getting more & more fatigue because of the activities i joined... so now i am feeling very very down!!!

I really hope that i can get some insight on this myself through self-reflections...

May I be Well & Happy!
May I be Well & Happy!
May I be Well & Happy!

One Day Trip To Tumpat!!!

Wow, it has been a long time since i wrote...
i had been really really busy until i think i took on too much responsibility which is NOT good... perhaps it's time for me to retreat a little...

Anyway, on the 19 August i went for a 1 day trip to visit Buddhist temples including the one with Sleeping Buddha, Sitting Buddha, Standing Buddha & Dragon Boat Temple here in Kelantan.
It was vert enjoying! We went together with 1st year juniors & also our batchmates...

In the middle, we had our lunch in Sri Tujuh Beach; played games & sing hymms which was very relaxing & enjoying...

Hope this kind of day will come again many many time sin the future!!!

-Happy is A Simple yet Lovely Thing-

A busy week!

This whole week had been the most busiest week of all...
all our previous preparations were put into motion... meeting the 1st years and having fun with them is really enjoyable! The only regret is i am sick: sore throat and cough so i just had to keep silent most of the time. Moreover, because i am a photographer, i just keep taking photograph and didn't actually get to know the 1st years well...
That's why i didn't get any bean sprout or origami from any of the juniors... you see, 1 of our programme was for the juniors to grow bean sprouts to give it to their favourite seniors and also they were taught some origami skills which they can then exchange amongst themselves... but in the end... i didn't get any : (
but that is expected lar... so no hard feelings!
Tomorrow will be the last day of the orientation and there will be an official photo session! that is my favourite slot and i borrowed a tripod just for the purpose!

All in all, this week had been a fruitful week for all of us 2nd years here in USMKK!!!

1st & 2nd Week...

2 weeks passed just like that...
Apart from having to attend Orientation Week, my friends & me had been busy making preparation for the Buddhist Club Introductory Week in cnjunction with the Desa Orientation Week for the 1st years... we had prepared a lot for them including performances, games etc... myself will be the official photographer for this event *grin*
This is a rare oppurtunity as we seldom have chance to do project together... therefore i really cherished the times we spent together...
Sleeping after 2 am had become a norm for us & every other day, we had to attend meeting...
Well, th Orientation is starting soon so hope this event will be a successful one & all our efforts be paid off!

A New Beginning...

Wow... finally can be declared as 2nd year medical student...
A lot of unhappy things happened for the past week but much more happy things also happened to me... I'll just highlight a few....

When i was boarding the train to Kelantan with my friends, we encounter an old man who yelled at my friend's father when he offered to help the old man. What was the man thinking??? He just rejected a kind offer to help him carry his baggage...!
From his mouth (yah, i listen to every word he said), i sensed the insecurity of the old man, my conjecture was that maybe he was cheated before & lost hope in mankind... but who was to blamed? indeed nowadays, we hear more & more negative news about our society: killings, abuses, terrorism, thieves pretending to be salesman, etc... nobody can say he's wrong for putting up an extra shield when dealing with strangers...

Then, in the train, coincidentally, we met a senior of ours and that proved to be quite a luck because when we arrived at the train station, he offered to share a taxi with one of us; we (me & my friends total up to 4) plus the baggages (a lot) couldn't fit into a taxi!
Bless him!

When we arrived at the hostel, we found out that we couldn't get the keys that day... we can only check in the next morning... therefore all our plans before that have to be changed.
Luckily, i still have my brother! We decided to just enjoy the day & stay overnight at my brother's place. We did our shopping, went for a nice place to try out new dishes for dinner & watched 2 horror movies in a row at my bro's place... we end up sleeping at 3 in the morning.

The next day, we checked in & i was quite pleased with the condition of my room although not perfect... well, humans have desires, i am a human too....
As more & more friends begun to show up, i couldn't help but to feel a warm happy feeling in my heart to be able to see them once again...!

Now, i am going through an orientation programme for us, 2nd years to familiarize with Phase II settings... but that's another story for another day.... Have a nice day!

Grandma's Birthday!

Last Sunday, i went to my grandma's house (maternal side) in Skudai for her 74th birthday celebration...
The thing is her birthday is actually the coming Sunday but she decided to celebrate that day because i am going back to my campus on wednesday...

yes, can tell she dote me a lot! she used to buy me things & is gentle to me, never did she scold me for anything... She is one of the nicest person i ever known! May my grandma be well & happy all the time!!!

anyway, we had an ordinary lunch outside, only few simple dishes, with a few of my relatives. this is the 1st time we celebrate by eating out... my grandma used to cook (yup, although it's her birthday) & wished that ALL her sons, daughters, grandsons & granddaughters to come back for a nice family gathering, any parents would want that is it not? But i guess her wish rarely comes true... not for the past few years anyway... i could only say for now, a lot of things had happened in the family...
(feels sad *sob*) can't help but wondering how will it be like for me when i am old... people are just like that, when we are young we like to go against our parents, be the rebel teens in the family... never thought of what our parents might feel... but did we ever put ourselves in their shoes instead... teens only learn from mistakes (a.k.a. when it's too late!)
pardon the sudden surge of feelings... he..he..he...

well, her health's deteriorating these few years, so my mum suggested that we just dine out!
after the meal, we headed to BestMart just to do some shopping... never did i know the dire consequence of this trip...
i bought a few dvds for myself... the ladies (my grandma, mum & godma) went for some grocery shopping...
when we are heading back to the car... we passed a stall selling fruits & grandma decided to buy durians. U know lar, now durians 'lelong' everywhere, 1 bag for RM10, a good catch! so they bought a bag... okay... then my mum set her eyes on longans, so she bought 2 kgs... fine, then... my godma saw the mangosteen & yearns for it... so she bought some... & we ended up with 3 different kinds of fruits... i didn't foresee the danger... yet...
as we walked further, we passed another stal where 1 big basket of durians was for only RM5... not the good ones but still it should be okay... & we bought 1 basket! think this: RM15 worth of durians (in a bag & 2 big plastic bag!)+ longans + mangosteen..!!! all these was for me as i am leaving soon & wanted me to eat as much as i can...!
this is another problem of parents... they tend to take things in their own hand... always leave the best for the children & a lot of it too...! they don't care if the child wants it or not... they just take it as the child do! though i know its out of their love but sometimes... i fell it's not necessary... don't you think so?

when we reach my grandma's home, we decided to open up the durians because most of them already ripened & we just dig in! and that's just barely 2 hours after the lunch... 1 after another... it's like endless! when finally we cannot eat anymore... we only opened a quarter of the total! but i must admit the filling isn't that bad... although not the good quality D24 or D101 or DXO but still it's good enough...

sometimes, we don't have to get the best to be happy... rite? not all can afford the branded & quality stuff but it's the thought that counts & sometimes even the cheap things bring great comfort!

anyway, they decided to open the rest & put them into tupperwares... so finally we have 3 big containers with durians...
after dinner, which we had only about 2 hours after the 'sumptious' fruit feast, we proceed with cutting the birthday cake... & because there isn't many people around, only 2 families in fact, my mum's & my godma's... & the fact that all of us were feeling so full after the fruits & dinner... the cake was divided into 3 big portions to be brought home by us... along with a cointainer of durians each, a bag of longans & mangosteens!

well... it was a great day, i felt full the whole day through even the next morning! seriously! i didn't even want to have breakfast the next morning!

Lastly, i wish my Grandma many happy returns!

A Day at CS...

Today is a happy happy day for me because i spent the whole day with some of my best friends at CS...!

8.45 am - went out & upon reaching the bus station... my heart just dropped when i saw a public bus swoosh off...

"OH! NO!!!!! i missed my bus & god knows how long i have to wait for the next one" - monolog

then, another bus came into sight & boy am i feeling lucky, but... the d**n bus just pass the stand without stopping
doesn't seem too happy, right... you might be thinking...
ha...ha...ha... before you know it, another bus came...

"sure or not, this bus will stop?????" - monolog

well... it sure did! & i am feeling lucky already!!!
next whaddaya know... the friend i was supposed to meet, KK, board the same bus as me!!! a rare incident... must be a lucky lucky day for me... or him... we don't have to wait for each other!

9.30 am - we headed to train station to buy tickets for our trip back to campus

my mum was VERY worried because we are considered very late in buying the tickets... so naturally I also feel the same way as i approached the station...
but all the worries for nothing because there was ample of seats & no sign of tickets going to be sold out! hah!!! must be a lucky day for me or my friend!!!

10.15 am- in CS shopping for games... brought a few CD i'd like to exchange due to problems ...

actually i had bought the games quite a long time ago so i am not sure whether i actually can exchange it... again all the worries for... nothing! i successfully exchanged them for the ones that me & my friend like... how about that!!!

11.00 am - queueing for movie tickets...

meet some more friends... then go queue for the movie tickets...
guess what, i met my friend & her boyfriend, who came all the way from Kluang to Johor Bahru to watch a show & going back on the same day!!! this is even rare!!! i can't believe someone can actually travel this far for a movie...!?! then again... maybe other people often do this just not me... who knows?

12.something - went for a walk...

bumped into a long-time-no-see friend who's working...
then, wanted to get a meal but unluckily, we didn't...
reason : the restaurant staff reported that today there's only 1 chef & couldn't possibly get it ready in time... & time's running out anyway... got a show to catch!

1.10 pm - watched Initial D

cool film! never actually read the manga but still enjoyed the movie!!! those fond of adventure, this is quite a must-see!!! (aiyoh... never thought i am doing a free ad for the show...!)

after the show, we headed for lunch although it's nearing 4 pm, i think... i lost track of time...
then, went for some more shopping... i just window shop lor... must... control... my wallet... cannot simply...spend...

my friend, J, who didn't get all that's in his shopping list opt that we go to Pelangi Plaza... so off we went!
at PP, we spend most of our time in Metrojaya to help J complete his shopping list...
just before we decide to part... around 6.30 pm? i bought another game (a little self-indulgences won't kill lar)

so as the sun sets... the whole party comprised only me & KK... slowly we walked to nearby bus stand...
just as our hearts start to worry when the bus is coming... (it's really hard to get a bus at that time of the day, okay..?), there it was... heading towards us... yup... i know you are probably sick of this phase by now... but, just 1 last time... it definitely is a lucky day!!!

a Lucky Gay Day, more precisely!!!

-learn to count your blessings & don't dwell on troubles-

Intro...!

well... since nowadays even the papers are so hyped over blogs
i thought maybe i just join in the fun... he..he..he...

why the title you may ask...?
well... 1st of all, this gay isn't the gay that most of you might thought it meant
but then again it might... who knows? i'm still an adolescent who is finding my own identity!
*grin* just to keep you guessing...!

at 1st thought, the 'gay' here should bring to your mind the word 'happiness'
yup... well i just wanna keep track about the joyful times of my life & maybe it could cheer me up when i'm feeling down in the future...
however, i can just post anything that's out of topics lar... k... it's my blog after all!
i just hope i got the will to keep it up!
wish me luck!